thinking about it, the phrase "being known is being loved" is inherently sakuatsu.

they're unconventional, sure. and that makes their love language unique.

the way they fell in love is in the little things they took notice to before anyone else could.

even before their relationship started, it's atsumu who reminds everyone that sakusa doesn't like food and drink containers that are exposed to air.

it's atsumu who kept sealed water and sports drink bottles in his fridge and brought them to practice. it's atsumu who requests for one of the lunch packs to be cling wrapped & separated from the others.

it's atsumu who adjusts to sakusa's particularities without sakusa knowing.

even before their relationship started, it's sakusa who tells atsumu to quit practicing after seeing him flub another serve, with the promise of practicing with him the next day if he gets enough rest.

it's sakusa who locks up the gym with atsumu at almost midnight.

it's sakusa who walks home with him. it's sakusa who lets him talk his frustrations out in the open. it's sakusa who feigns disinterest but answers immediately when questioned directly.

it's sakusa who pays attention to atsumu without atsumu telling him to.

even before their relationship started, it's atsumu who buffered sakusa from uncomfortable situations. placing himself halfway in front of sakusa to shield him from press and touchy fans.

it's atsumu who laughs loudly to distract a fan from sakusa's silence after a particularly personal question.

it's atsumu who takes the gifts from strangers' hands in fanmeetings.

it's atsumu who throws his jacket over sakusa when they walk through crowded hallways after a game because sakusa left his in the locker room.

it's atsumu who kept sakusa safe from things he couldn't control.

even before their relationship, it's sakusa who slips salonpas pads into atsumu's locker when he notices the setter take a rather harsh fall after performing another one of his death-defying limbo sets —one he sent to sakusa himself.

it's sakusa who saw the wince behind the "nice kill!"

it's sakusa who slides lozenges and fever cooling pads into the pockets of atsumu's bag after hearing him sniffle during stretches after a grueling practice match.

it's sakusa who kept an eye on atsumu's condition when he became too reckless in his pursuit of perfection.

the way to make them feel loved is to know each other so well that there are no possible discrepancies with how they feel.

when they entered their relationship it had become apparent that each one of them had been doing things for the other. and neither of them planned to stop.

atsumu took notice of kiyoomi's attentiveness. and kiyoomi took notice of atsumu's dilligence.

but past that they understood each other at a level in which words and actions are a composite thing that just made sense.

on bad days, the days where kiyoomi gets so quiet that he doesn't respond to anything, not even his name, atsumu understands.

he'd lay a folded blanket down on the couch and a cup of tea in front of it, just in case kiyoomi's feeling too bad to even sleep next to him on the bed.

when he feels a shuffling behind him past midnight, a body slipping into the sheets and quietly pressing their forehead to the blades of his shoulder, he immediately knows everything is okay.

on bad days, the days where atsumu would notice anything out of place and direct his aggression towards it, omi understands.

he wordlessly fixes the things that bother atsumu, lets him groan in frustration without complain, even hands him a stress ball from their bedside drawer.

later when the smell of ochazuke permeates the air as kiyoomi walks into the kitchen, he'd see atsumu with his phone on loudspeaker at the kitchen counter, the familiar voice of osamu instructing him with what to do.

he'd watch his back for a short while before clearing his throat. and when atsumu turns, his face would go red, "i'll call you back, samu."

they stare at each other for a few seconds, kiyoomi's eyes trail to the jar of umeboshi beside the stove.

it's atsumu who breaks the silence with an awkward laugh and a hand scratching the back of his head.

"i'm sorry." he'd say.

the look on his face tells kiyoomi that everything's just fine, "welcome back."

on the worst days, when they exchange words and actions to hurt and because of hurt.

kiyoomi would see the flicker of surrender in atsumu's eyes, and recognize it as fear.

he's the first one to reach out and try to wipe the stray tear from the side of his face.

atsumu would see the hesitation in kiyoomi's approach, but he recognizes the urgency.

he's the one who meets him halfway, because atsumu knows he isn't the only one who's afraid. and terrible as it may be, it will always be better to be afraid together.

and they stay, because no amount of hesitance or fear will outweigh the familiarity of being in each other's arms.

it's a choice. and it's the faith of knowing that their choice would always be the same.

the way they stay in love is habit.

and it's not necessarily a bad thing.

not when everyday kiyoomi would wake up to the same face he had mapped just a few hours ago, relaxed and angelic in a way that he can't be when consciousness turns him cocky.

not when his heart fills with fondness at seeing him snort in his sleep, even after having been woken up by that same sound about fifteen times since their relationship started.

it's not a bad thing.

especially not when kiyoomi walks out of the shower sporting nothing but a towel at his waist and it renders atsumu speechless even after seeing him naked more times than he'd seen the twin he'd grown up with naked.

not when kiyoomi pulls the exact same shirt he found at the bottom of atsumu's drawer a few months ago and had taken favoritism to because it's soft and fits him just right.

not when kiyoomi lays beside him on the bed and atsumu already knows that it means he would like to be held, thank you very much. and when he does hold him, it makes his heart sing, despite being able to do so every time they sleep.

their love is quiet. it's gestures. it's the casual intimacy. it's the hand at the bottom of kiyoomi's back after getting blocked. it's the simultaneous fist pump after a redeeming spike set by atsumu himself.

it's coming home and just dancing around each other's routine in perfect rhythm, because they've memorized them and it just comes naturally now.

it's knowing each other's ticks, and following through with the right actions. it's making a home in a house that someone else built. it's finding yourself embedded in the one you love the most.

it's the fact that at the end of the day there's only this:

they are loved.

they are known.

#sakuatsu #sakusakiyoomi #miyaatsumu

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wrote this as a warmup before going back to the fic im writing,,,,, and it turned out to be,,,,,, uh,,,,, pls don't touch me this isn't a brainrot this is a thesis