I just saw the most prolific twitter account has over 50 million tweets. I now have an unreasonable desire to top that.
I just did the math. If I wanted to reach that goal, Iād have to send out 5700 tweets.... per hour.
Thatās obviously not gonna happen. I have just enough responsibilities to say I donāt have the time to dedicate my whole being to such a lofty ambition.
...Iām still gonna try, though.
I wonāt be able to do it in a year.
But what about ten? Lemme do the math.
But what about ten? Lemme do the math.
10 years.
50 million tweets.
If my math is correct...
13.699 tweets per day.
571 tweets per hour.
Already more manageable
50 million tweets.
If my math is correct...
13.699 tweets per day.
571 tweets per hour.
Already more manageable
Perhaps I shouldnāt worry too much about the details.
Iāll reserve detailed plans and approaches for more serious matters.
For this, Iāll just wing it.
For this, Iāll just wing it.
To those who are about to be spammed with my nonsense: I should be sorry, but I am not. Unfollow me if you must.
I am a man with a mission now.
Not that I didnāt have missions before! But this is a mission I can work on.
NOT that I didnāt work on any missions before!! But this is a mission I can work on while lying in bed and listening to Rich Brian.
Okay, Iām still gonna do this with reckless abandon, but I will add some ground rules:
- serious stuff will not be a part of this thread.
- announcements will not be a part of this thread.
- anything else is fair game.
- serious stuff will not be a part of this thread.
- announcements will not be a part of this thread.
- anything else is fair game.
Who knows? Maybe I can reach two goals at once: most tweets and longest thread.
I really go wild on twitter when my girlfriend isnāt with me. I mean, she is with my physically, but her mind is deep in dreamland.
I got this. I got this. I got this.
Thatās some positive affirmation.
Iām hungry
Thatās not a positive affirmation. Thatās just a statement.
I just realised I could cheat a little by tweeting very short tweets back to back.
But thatās not how I wanna reach my goal.
Am I handicapping myself in a race where I seemingly am the only participant? Maybe. But even if there is no one around to judge me, I cannot escape the gaze that comes from within.
So no, I will not cheat. I will not cut corners.
I will commit to this massive shit post. No matter how long it takes.
So I just learned another heatwave is gonna hit the Netherlands. Am I ready?
No.
No.
Online class in an hour. Scary how Iām already kinda used to the social distancing.
Watched Tenet for the third time. But this time, in 4DX. While the moving seats didnāt add too much to the experience, the movie itself still holds up!
I wonder how long itāll take before I can make my own blockbuster movies.
Just because I donāt tweet a lot rn doesnāt mean I still have my goals in mind!! #50milliontweets
Yes, Iām gonna use a hashtag now!
#50milliontweets and a man with a dream.
#50milliontweets and a man with a dream.
Iām not gonna use it in every tweet, though. Thatād be annoying some of you even further.
Itās too damn hot. I thought summer was already over??
Anyway, so I thought it over, and I still want to get to #50milliontweets , but I must be truly honest here:
I suck at consistently doing things.
Downside: I canāt seem to consistently succeed.
Upside: I canāt consistently fail either!
Upside: I canāt consistently fail either!
So, what Iām basically saying, is that Iām just like most ordinary people on the planet.
But unlike most people, I have a goal thatās practically impossible to reach, yet I keep on trucking because my naivety and my optimism are best buds.
Wait.
That describes a lot of people I know, actually.
That describes a lot of people I know, actually.
Donāt feel bad if I just described you, by the way.
The world needs some more big dreamers.
The world needs some more big dreamers.
I just saw a little girl walk barefoot on boiling concrete. I know sheās not purposely flexing on my tender clown feet, but sheās flexing on my tender clown feet.
Iām gonna take a nice long shower once Iām back home.
Watching Castle with my grandpa is one of those little things thatāll be among my fondest of memories.
#50milliontweets
#50milliontweets
What is the deal with cop shows and corny one liners

Maybe I should just write short stories here in order to keep myself truly productive.
I could tweet about my own life exclusively, but letās be honest, my life aināt that exciting....
...yet.
...yet.
Fun fact: Guns ān Roses still slaps H A R D
3582 tweets down, 49.996.418 tweets to go.
I still donāt fully understand why I want to do this so badly. #50milliontweets
I still donāt fully understand why I want to do this so badly. #50milliontweets
I could even make the whole process easier by automating my tweets. BUT REAL ONES DONāT CHEAT


If anyone sees my increased tweet activity, lemme ask you this:
Am I annoying you yet?
Am I annoying you yet?
Sometimes, when I turn from side to side in my bed, my heart rate suddenly spikes. Whatās up with that?
Wanna hear something funny? Iām hardly feeling any anxiety as Iām going to my internship. Is this character growth?
Why do songs hit different on the radio?
Okay... So Iāve been told Big Sean was a so-so rapper, so I never bothered listening. But Iām playing Detroit 2 now, and no lies, I am feeling it


Thought I heard a kid squealing, but no.... Itās just my body making weird noises again.
There are a lot of spiders outside. Like, more than is acceptable.
Something about this school makes me feel more chill than other schools usually do.
Rise n shine, bois
Another day, another way to make life worth living.
I just realised something about my #50milliontweets mission...
In order to ascend to the throne, I have to contend with twitter accounts who are controlled by bots.
...bots who can tweet every minute of every day.
Thatās tough competition, to put it lightly.
Thatās nearly impossible, to put it bluntly.
But Imagine that I succeed?
I can already read the headlines:
āProfessional Shitposter tweets more than most bot accountsā
āProfessional Shitposter tweets more than most bot accountsā
Oh well. If I want to get that far, I just need to keep on tweeting. #50milliontweets
Just did some math again.
If I tweeted an average of 315 tweets a month, Iāll reach #50milliontweets in roughly 13 years.
So I did the math again, to see if I tweeted 630 tweets a month, that that would mean that I could reach 50 mill in half the time.
And the math is correct! Roughly 6 years.
To think how much of my life will have changed over those six years.
Iāll be in a completely different place, inside a slightly different body, spending my time with (hopefully) the same people.
And among all that change, THIS is the thing thatāll endure throughout it all.
It sounds rather silly.
But in a way, to me, it also sounds beautiful.
My twitter account, an ever growing time capsule.
An encapsulated stream of consciousness. For all the world to see.
Back at my internship again, and WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THESE SPIDERS???
My internship is the kind of work place where I can leave every time saying āwell, this day sure was interestingā.
Canāt wait to be with my girlfriend again


Sometimes, I just wanna walk barefoot everywhere. But these street stones aināt kind on my soles.
I want a new laptop but I donāt have enough money






Imma chalk that one under āfirst world problemsā
Oh well, laptop or not, I can still try to reach #50milliontweets
Yup! Iām still committed


My most liked tweet so far is a tweet bashing both capitalism and socialism.
Because of course it is.
Because of course it is.
That moment youāve filled your being with food and you just feel... at peace


You know, if I could make beats, and speak fast without falling over my words due to anxiety, and remember words well, I could be a rapper.
But no... Iām only good at writing stuff.
But a gift is a gift. And Iāll use mine... someday.
Drag Race has a Dutch edition now....
I donāt know how to feel about this
I donāt know how to feel about this
The queens keep switching between Dutch and English. Julia cannot take it.
Okay, okay, Rupaul adressing the Dutch queens made me feel a little joyous.
Ah, so theyāre reusing challenges from older Dragrace seasons? Itās a choice...
Runway looks lookinā fierce. Comments from the jury sounding quite meh.
The Dutch jury has Canadian vibes.
In other words, cursed.
In other words, cursed.
THEY TRANSLATED RUPAULS LIPSYNC CATCHPHRASE
āverneuk het nietā
whyyyyyYYYYYYYYY
āverneuk het nietā
whyyyyyYYYYYYYYY
I can make my joints pop like glowsticks.
Thereās a useless fact for ya.
Another fact:
The skin under my nails is super sensitive. Short nails are my personal hell.
The skin under my nails is super sensitive. Short nails are my personal hell.
I wonder if Iām gonna run out of things to say before reaching #50milliontweets
Ah, itās okay... not like anyone gonna go through every single of my tweets... right?
I mean, itās not like my digitalized thoughts are under much attention anyway.
Iām really glad replies to other tweets add to the tweet count too. Itās a little boost, but a boost all the same.
You know what I noticed? Every person who Iāve told about my mission has been supportive.
Not even in a āhaha, your mission is outrageously stupid and Iāll like it for the memeā.
No, Iāve received heartfelt and genuine good lucks and I believe in youās.
Make no mistake: trying to get to #50milliontweets without any help from bots tweeting for me IS outrageously stupid.
But the fact that people can hear my plan and show nothing but support? Absolutely heartwarming.
I wonder why I feel so motivated to do this.
I guess Iām just a tad obsessed with numbers.
Not in a math sense. I suck at math.
Iād rather do meth than math.
This is a joke.
This is a joke.
Donāt do meth. Donāt do math either. Unless youāre wicked good with numbers and wanna make good money.
I wanna keep tweeting, but the missus wants to cuddle.
Iām a man with a mission.
But I have my priorities straight.
Gānight yāall
Iām a man with a mission.
But I have my priorities straight.
Gānight yāall


My stomach is not happy right now.
Home is wherever I can use the toilet without feeling ashamed about my bowel movements.
Okay, I think we good now.
3700 down, 49.996.300 to go. #50milliontweets
Saw The New Mutants today. And you know what? I didnāt even think it was bad? I thought it was... pretty good?
I really need to try a little harder if I want to reach #50milliontweets before I die

Fortunately, hardly anyone sees my tweets, so repeating isnāt really an issue.
Tweeting while Rupauls Dragrace plays in the background. The good life.
Spent some of my free time this week listening to dutch rap from years ago.
And honestly? Shitās still


Julia is shoving food in my face. Itās dark, I canāt see the food entering my mouth and I donāt like this.
I sneezed so hard I farted as well. Not an irregular occurrence.
I can just imagine somebody looking at my nonsense and softly whisper āriveting stuffā
I havenāt had pizza in weeks...
My progress is slow.
But every step is a step forward
I just cleared a level for one of Juliaās games. Feeling mighty proud of myself.
With every tweet I think āwhat am I supposed to say?ā Before I type a single word.
But I donāt want to just smash random keys and hit send.
That would be easy.
AND I DONāT DO EASY
BECAUSE I AM NOT EASY
IT HAS COST ME A LOT OF FRIENDships and relationships, because I couldnāt just chill...
Wait whats this
Serious stuff? In this thread??
Begone, existential angst!
This thread is reserved for the silly