I just saw the most prolific twitter account has over 50 million tweets. I now have an unreasonable desire to top that.

I just did the math. If I wanted to reach that goal, I’d have to send out 5700 tweets.... per hour.

That’s obviously not gonna happen. I have just enough responsibilities to say I don’t have the time to dedicate my whole being to such a lofty ambition.

...I’m still gonna try, though.

I won’t be able to do it in a year.
But what about ten? Lemme do the math.

10 years.
50 million tweets.
If my math is correct...
13.699 tweets per day.
571 tweets per hour.

Already more manageable

Perhaps I shouldn’t worry too much about the details.

I’ll reserve detailed plans and approaches for more serious matters.
For this, I’ll just wing it.

To those who are about to be spammed with my nonsense: I should be sorry, but I am not. Unfollow me if you must.

I am a man with a mission now.

Not that I didn’t have missions before! But this is a mission I can work on.

NOT that I didn’t work on any missions before!! But this is a mission I can work on while lying in bed and listening to Rich Brian.

Okay, I’m still gonna do this with reckless abandon, but I will add some ground rules:

- serious stuff will not be a part of this thread.

- announcements will not be a part of this thread.

- anything else is fair game.

Who knows? Maybe I can reach two goals at once: most tweets and longest thread.

I really go wild on twitter when my girlfriend isn’t with me. I mean, she is with my physically, but her mind is deep in dreamland.

I got this. I got this. I got this.

That’s some positive affirmation.

I’m hungry

That’s not a positive affirmation. That’s just a statement.

I just realised I could cheat a little by tweeting very short tweets back to back.

But that’s not how I wanna reach my goal.

Am I handicapping myself in a race where I seemingly am the only participant? Maybe. But even if there is no one around to judge me, I cannot escape the gaze that comes from within.

So no, I will not cheat. I will not cut corners.

I will commit to this massive shit post. No matter how long it takes.

So I just learned another heatwave is gonna hit the Netherlands. Am I ready?

No.

My breakfast for today :D

Online class in an hour. Scary how I’m already kinda used to the social distancing.

Watched Tenet for the third time. But this time, in 4DX. While the moving seats didn’t add too much to the experience, the movie itself still holds up!

I wonder how long it’ll take before I can make my own blockbuster movies.

Just because I don’t tweet a lot rn doesn’t mean I still have my goals in mind!! #50milliontweets

Yes, I’m gonna use a hashtag now!
#50milliontweets and a man with a dream.

I’m not gonna use it in every tweet, though. That’d be annoying some of you even further.

It’s too damn hot. I thought summer was already over??

Anyway, so I thought it over, and I still want to get to #50milliontweets , but I must be truly honest here:

I suck at consistently doing things.

Downside: I can’t seem to consistently succeed.

Upside: I can’t consistently fail either!

So, what I’m basically saying, is that I’m just like most ordinary people on the planet.

But unlike most people, I have a goal that’s practically impossible to reach, yet I keep on trucking because my naivety and my optimism are best buds.

Wait.

That describes a lot of people I know, actually.

Don’t feel bad if I just described you, by the way.

The world needs some more big dreamers.

SUMMER IS SUPPOSED TO BE OVER!!! STAHP IT

I just saw a little girl walk barefoot on boiling concrete. I know she’s not purposely flexing on my tender clown feet, but she’s flexing on my tender clown feet.

I’m gonna take a nice long shower once I’m back home.

Watching Castle with my grandpa is one of those little things that’ll be among my fondest of memories.
#50milliontweets

What is the deal with cop shows and corny one liners

Maybe I should just write short stories here in order to keep myself truly productive.

I could tweet about my own life exclusively, but let’s be honest, my life ain’t that exciting....

...yet.

Fun fact: Guns ‘n Roses still slaps H A R D

Speaking of songs that slap H O A R D E, “Bussdown Your Soul” by @august08 is so damn good

3582 tweets down, 49.996.418 tweets to go.

I still don’t fully understand why I want to do this so badly. #50milliontweets

I could even make the whole process easier by automating my tweets. BUT REAL ONES DON’T CHEAT

If anyone sees my increased tweet activity, lemme ask you this:

Am I annoying you yet?

Sometimes, when I turn from side to side in my bed, my heart rate suddenly spikes. What’s up with that?

Wanna hear something funny? I’m hardly feeling any anxiety as I’m going to my internship. Is this character growth?

Why do songs hit different on the radio?

Okay... So I’ve been told Big Sean was a so-so rapper, so I never bothered listening. But I’m playing Detroit 2 now, and no lies, I am feeling it

Thought I heard a kid squealing, but no.... It’s just my body making weird noises again.

There are a lot of spiders outside. Like, more than is acceptable.

Something about this school makes me feel more chill than other schools usually do.

Rise n shine, bois

Another day, another way to make life worth living.

I just realised something about my #50milliontweets mission...

In order to ascend to the throne, I have to contend with twitter accounts who are controlled by bots.

...bots who can tweet every minute of every day.

That’s tough competition, to put it lightly.

That’s nearly impossible, to put it bluntly.

But Imagine that I succeed?

I can already read the headlines:
“Professional Shitposter tweets more than most bot accounts”

Oh well. If I want to get that far, I just need to keep on tweeting. #50milliontweets

Just did some math again.

If I tweeted an average of 315 tweets a month, I’ll reach #50milliontweets in roughly 13 years.

So I did the math again, to see if I tweeted 630 tweets a month, that that would mean that I could reach 50 mill in half the time.

And the math is correct! Roughly 6 years.

To think how much of my life will have changed over those six years.

I’ll be in a completely different place, inside a slightly different body, spending my time with (hopefully) the same people.

And among all that change, THIS is the thing that’ll endure throughout it all.

It sounds rather silly.

But in a way, to me, it also sounds beautiful.

My twitter account, an ever growing time capsule.

An encapsulated stream of consciousness. For all the world to see.

Back at my internship again, and WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THESE SPIDERS???

My internship is the kind of work place where I can leave every time saying “well, this day sure was interesting”.

Can’t wait to be with my girlfriend again

Sometimes, I just wanna walk barefoot everywhere. But these street stones ain’t kind on my soles.

Julia’s trying on pants. There are no seats here though.
No problem

I want a new laptop but I don’t have enough money

Imma chalk that one under “first world problems”

Oh well, laptop or not, I can still try to reach #50milliontweets

Yup! I’m still committed

My most liked tweet so far is a tweet bashing both capitalism and socialism.

Because of course it is.

That moment you’ve filled your being with food and you just feel... at peace

You know, if I could make beats, and speak fast without falling over my words due to anxiety, and remember words well, I could be a rapper.

But no... I’m only good at writing stuff.

But a gift is a gift. And I’ll use mine... someday.

Drag Race has a Dutch edition now....
I don’t know how to feel about this

The queens keep switching between Dutch and English. Julia cannot take it.

Okay, okay, Rupaul adressing the Dutch queens made me feel a little joyous.

Ah, so they’re reusing challenges from older Dragrace seasons? It’s a choice...

Runway looks lookin’ fierce. Comments from the jury sounding quite meh.

The Dutch jury has Canadian vibes.
In other words, cursed.

THEY TRANSLATED RUPAULS LIPSYNC CATCHPHRASE

“verneuk het niet”

whyyyyyYYYYYYYYY

I can make my joints pop like glowsticks.

There’s a useless fact for ya.

Another fact:
The skin under my nails is super sensitive. Short nails are my personal hell.

I wonder if I’m gonna run out of things to say before reaching #50milliontweets

Ah, it’s okay... not like anyone gonna go through every single of my tweets... right?

I mean, it’s not like my digitalized thoughts are under much attention anyway.

I’m really glad replies to other tweets add to the tweet count too. It’s a little boost, but a boost all the same.

You know what I noticed? Every person who I’ve told about my mission has been supportive.

Not even in a “haha, your mission is outrageously stupid and I’ll like it for the meme”.

No, I’ve received heartfelt and genuine good lucks and I believe in you’s.

Make no mistake: trying to get to #50milliontweets without any help from bots tweeting for me IS outrageously stupid.

But the fact that people can hear my plan and show nothing but support? Absolutely heartwarming.

I wonder why I feel so motivated to do this.

I guess I’m just a tad obsessed with numbers.

Not in a math sense. I suck at math.

I’d rather do meth than math.

This is a joke.

Don’t do meth. Don’t do math either. Unless you’re wicked good with numbers and wanna make good money.

I wanna keep tweeting, but the missus wants to cuddle.

I’m a man with a mission.
But I have my priorities straight.

G’night y’all

My stomach is not happy right now.

Home is wherever I can use the toilet without feeling ashamed about my bowel movements.

Okay, I think we good now.

3700 down, 49.996.300 to go. #50milliontweets

Me after consuming copious amounts of food

Saw The New Mutants today. And you know what? I didn’t even think it was bad? I thought it was... pretty good?

I really need to try a little harder if I want to reach #50milliontweets before I die

Fortunately, hardly anyone sees my tweets, so repeating isn’t really an issue.

Tweeting while Rupauls Dragrace plays in the background. The good life.

Spent some of my free time this week listening to dutch rap from years ago.

And honestly? Shit’s still

Julia is shoving food in my face. It’s dark, I can’t see the food entering my mouth and I don’t like this.

I sneezed so hard I farted as well. Not an irregular occurrence.

I can just imagine somebody looking at my nonsense and softly whisper “riveting stuff”

I haven’t had pizza in weeks...

My progress is slow.

But every step is a step forward

I just cleared a level for one of Julia’s games. Feeling mighty proud of myself.

With every tweet I think “what am I supposed to say?” Before I type a single word.

But I don’t want to just smash random keys and hit send.

That would be easy.

AND I DON’T DO EASY

BECAUSE I AM NOT EASY

IT HAS COST ME A LOT OF FRIENDships and relationships, because I couldn’t just chill...

Wait whats this

Serious stuff? In this thread??

Begone, existential angst!

This thread is reserved for the silly