I have complicated feelings about te wiki o te reo Māori. I love seeing so many cool initiatives happening but sometimes it also makes me feel like a bit of a failure. I feel very whakamā about not knowing more te reo, and for some reason I have found it really hard to learn.

I have so much respect for all the people working on the reo kaupapa, and I’m not trying to be downbuzz. But if you’re struggling with it a bit, just know you’re not the only one. It’s hard, and for some of us it takes ages. Kia kaha though, I’m sure we will get there in the end.

I still didn’t know much about my whakapapa when I started learning te reo a few years ago. At first it was easier and I learnt the basics pretty quick. But as I started to identify more as Māori I felt a sense of shame about not speaking the language that is still hard to shake.

It’s hard to describe but I think that adds this layer to my learning that means it takes a whole extra level of emotional energy. It’s not discouraging exactly but it just makes it feel that much harder. I dunno, it’s just difficult.

I’m sharing this partly for Māori who may feel similarly, but also for Pākehā who might not realise that their learning journey can look quite different to others’. I support Pākehā learning te reo, but I think it’s important they realise that this is complicated for some people.

Just came across this piece by Kassie Hartendorp and she puts all of this much more eloquently than me. That last paragraph https://twitter.com/pantographpunch/status/1305227247016697862