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Ok gotta say something & feel free to unfollow me (or talk about things like an adult) if you want. This thread is awful, misleading and dangerous in numerous ways. It includes so many REAL abusers and rapists like Woody Allen and R. Kelly and others who âdatedâ minors. https://twitter.com/peakybiynders/status/1304570288106074114
Comparing those crimes to a relationship between two ADULT people, no matter their age gap and how uncomfortable that makes YOU feel, is horrible. Not only does it generalize all these people as predators, which is inherently NOT true -
- ffs they put Kobe Bryant & his wife on the list, a couple that barely had an age gap to begin with and was married for almost 20 years, had a family, and just experienced unimaginable tragedy this year, so honestly fuck that thread -
- but it also dangerously invalidates those actual CRIMES. Donât ever put two consenting adults in a thread with rapists who went after minors! Those criminals SHOULD be singled out! They shouldnât be put in a thread where one dismisses the WHOLE thing as trash.
Not to mention the way it smears the name of the people whose only crime was to date an adult which YOU perceive as something to be frowned upon. It is less damaging than what is done to the actual victims and how it invalidates their pain, but still it grates on me.
This whole anti age gap thing that has been going on is ridiculous to me. I was 17 when I had my first relationship with a 23 year old. Met him in dancing class and he had a good job, made me feel safe, and showed me more respect than any partner I had after him.
For so many strangers on the internet this would problematic. IDGAF. He never once treated me terrible. While my boyfriend after him made me feel like shit whenever I didnât want to have sex with him. Guess which relationship Iâd call abusive? Not the one with the age gap.
Iâd call the one abusive where Iâve actually been emotionally abused! With the man who was my age. Who didnât care that I was sobbing next to him in bed when he gave me the cold shoulder after I said that I didnât want sex that evening. Even though he knew I was raped as a child.
No stranger on the internet can know these things about a relationship. Condemning one because of an age gap, even though it could be the most loving and respectful relationship, is making me sick and tired of all these judgy people.
One last thing about Henry: Maybe stop calling him the worst things (which I wonât repeat here) because he had ONE single relationship with another adult, who happened to be quite younger than him. Thereâs no pattern of predatory behavior, so move on already ffs.
Another thing: Women like Tara are put into the role of a victim with stuff like this. Itâs such a weird dichotomy where youâre trying to raise women up, encourage them and their own choices, but then go around making them a victim in a situation you know nothing about.
I have a lot of thoughts on the condemnation of age gaps in general. Itâs not only about me being a fan of Henry and thinking he needs me to defend him. I think heâs doing fine and random strangers on the internet wonât change that. Itâs my own experiences making me speak up.
If anyone wants to discuss respectfully, Iâll gladly do that. Iâll even talk about my own trauma and sexual abuse, if asked. Because this is important. Stop diminishing the trauma of actual victims and survivors like this. Please. Talk about it. And be ready to listen to others.
