i live for @TRULY_DOZING's Rimworld threads, so i'm gonna make my own

first 4 people to comment get colonists named for them (after that i can see if there's a way to rename newcomers)

FUCK i'm rusty i think u get 3 starting colonists? i guess i'm about to find out (sorry frens)

i don't remember how to play but we're goin for maximum chaos, obvs

starting colonists: @thesravaka , @spiderfoods , and @TRULY_DOZING

we've got a pyromaniac and a maximum cooking skill of 1

this should go well

our colonists have just crash-landed with their pet guinea pig milo

directly next to a timber wolf

we're gonna, uh, just ignore her for now

found an optimal place to settle-- some sturdy existing walls, fertile soil, and a geyser (that'll be useful later)

but what's this? some furniture?

...oh

colonists: deconstruct the sarcophagus or leave it as decoration?

bonding

an uneventful first night

here's hoping that wolf either self-tames or sees his way out

sravaka's first kill (it only took about 2 hours between shooting the doe in the neck and putting it out of its misery)

spiderfoods negotiates with some visitors and lands us a sweet new weapon

gee, i haven't seen milo around, i wonder what he's up t---ohmygod

...wait, false alarm -- different guinea pig

so it begins

relaxo pukes politely indoors while our visitors check out the digs

sravaka does penance

spiderfoods here with reassuring words

think i found the problem

a fellow named Travis crash-lands nearby--

sravaka rescues him and races against the clock to tend to his wounds

hm, maybe i should've tossed the meals that poisoned relaxo

welcome to Clown Town

time to deconstruct the sarcophagus

...well that was disappointing.

it's just a pile of limestone.

huh, looks like sravaka's force-feeding our wounded guest one of those meals relaxo ate

...

i'm sure it'll be fine

a local mat goes rad just as travis is taking his first walk since we rescued (and poisoned) him

sravaka has a moment

(wow, i don't think i've ever accidentally typed a spoonerism before)

sravaka goes to rescue travis as he's taken unawares by the mad rat

sravaka, hold your fi-- nevermind.

travis is fine. i mean, he's dying (again), but at lest he didn't get shot.

relaxo got jealous of sravaka's bedroom so i had them swap bedrooms

hmm

a squirrel self-tamed! what shall we name her?

almost immediately afterwards, sravaka tamed a turkey! we're working our way up to tame salamander

turkey names for a lovely lady who likes stories about aliens?