Dear @SanaKhair1. You are very young and I don’t wish to pick on you given your age but there are a couple of things I would like to say. I want to say this so that other young women reading you can also reflect on some of the points I want to make. Indulge me please...(1/n)
‘Positive patriarchy’ is as random a thing as ‘benevolent sexism.’ Have you ever wondered why women, especially in Delhi, don’t wish to walk alone to a store at night? That’s because there aren’t enough women out on streets at that time. Compare it to a city like Mumbai (2/n)
Mumbai is safer for women because there are always more women out. If women reclaim public spaces, it would be easier for you to step out instead of asking your brother. Patriarchy wouldn’t want you to reclaim public spaces & therefore you feel the need to ask your brother (3/n)
The other point you raised is of financial independence. There is no greater power than money in your bank. It’s truer for women. Money gives you freedom. It allows you to take your own decisions, think for yourself. Patriarchy doesn’t like financially independent women. (4/n)
Money makes you confident. You don’t have to put up with abusive relationships, you get treated better, you value yourself more. Please don’t let anyone let you think it’s ok for you not to be financially independent. They can’t be more wrong. (5/n)
I don’t know what you mean by asking men to manage hectic schedules. Am sure men also make for efficient secretaries but perhaps you haven’t met many mothers- working or otherwise. Trust me, multi tasking was invented by women. (6/n)
I don’t know of many other workplaces but as a journalist I know that in my workplace I have handled many complex & stressful situations which included dealing with the most powerful people in the country against whom I was reporting. It’s true for many other women journalists..
And no, Sana, none of us turned to our male colleagues, amazing as they are, for help. We handled it all on our own without being irrational. I don’t understand what you mean by being emotional. It’s not a bad thing to be sensitive and have feelings. Men too have those (7/n)
And finally, I am not Muslim so I am not qualified to speak on what Islam says about men because I don’t know but all I know as a woman that the only rescuing women need is from the thinking that they need to be rescued. This is all I wanted to say. I wish you well. (8/8)
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