My ex wrote a comic about coming out later in life, and the anthology it's in has now won an award, and it’s being called brave and inspiring and an act of vulnerability, and I don’t agree.

I don’t think it would be brave of me to present a sanitized, extra-palatable version of a story that completely elided a decade of active decisions I made to construct a support system I needed to do only ever the work I wanted to do.

I don’t think it would be inspiring of me to present a late realization like that coming solely at my own expense, as though the opportunity cost of my partners was beneath mention.

I think telling a story about myself in which I file all the shitty, unpleasant edges off of it—the parts that might make me seem selfish, self-interested, and human—I think that’s the opposite of vulnerability.

But what do I know. I'm just a straightie, and we all know it's physically impossible to abuse a straight man.