I know I& #39;m very whiny atm, but bear with me. Currently I struggle so hard with not being "productive". Not in the sense of the society pressure (that too occasionally), but just with the fact that I can& #39;t seem to find any creative outlet. It all feels pretty rubbish or -

- meaningless. No one cares (I know it shouldn& #39;t matter) and just the all round feeling of there being nothing I& #39;m really good at at the moment. I thought writing was something I was passable at, but I can& #39;t manage to write anything. Drawing hasn& #39;t been a thing on my list -

- for years, hence why my skills are pretty dusty. I can& #39;t work on costume stuff, because I have no tools or materials here. Singing? Nope. Generally showing my face is a so-so situation depending on the day, so streaming, make-up stuff or acting things are a struggle too.

Generally I feel incredibly boxed in, I live in a rather busy area, so going out for a walk just spikes my anxiety, because of people who don& #39;t give a shit about safety regulations. This is probably all very much related to the stupid steroid tablets I gotta take after chemo -

- so it& #39;s a bit of a random rant that& #39;ll be all good in a few days, but eh. Had to let it out somehow I suppose. Returning to my cat life of just sleeping and eating now. (but I can eat this time around, so I guess that& #39;s a win!)