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We need to talk about relationships.
There’s so much I want to say and so much I’m still processing, but let’s start here:
Everything has a relationship to something else, every person has a relationship to another person.
Relationships are literally connections.
There’s so much I want to say and so much I’m still processing, but let’s start here:
Everything has a relationship to something else, every person has a relationship to another person.
Relationships are literally connections.
Relationships are so core to existence that I think most of us spend little time thinking actively about the concept itself, but everything we do stems from our relationship to someone and/or something.
I’ve come to think about relationships in terms of “promises” and “consent.”
What kind of commitment are we making to each other?
What are our expectations of each other?
What kind of commitment are we making to each other? What are our expectations of each other?
What should we be able to trust each other to do, even when we are not together?
What can we “green light” in advance that one can do when the other is not in the room?
What’s the best way to surface problems? 
How will we resolve conflicts (they are inevitable) that will arise?
What makes each of us feel “safe” when we have to engage around difficult issues? Can we commit to doing that for each other?
There’s probably more questions to ask there, but I think these get to some of the key points that inform interactions between (person-to-person) and with humans (person-to-thing).
Even if we don’t have a discussion about it upfront, if a relationship lasts long enough, the questions get answers.
As a society, we don’t often take the time to make these answers explicit.
Nonetheless, an invisible contract is formed.
As a society, we don’t often take the time to make these answers explicit.
Nonetheless, an invisible contract is formed.
I think where things often go awry is each party having a different set of answers to the questions I shared.
This causes tension.
This causes tension.
Possibly more often than an actual violation of the contract itself, I believe that people end up forming different interpretations of what PROMISES have been made and what CONSENT has been given.
So this invisible contract needs to be clarified when issues come up.
It’s also possible that this invisible contract requires regular renegotiation.
That’s why these particular questions are important: https://twitter.com/operaqueenie/status/1305179610837995522
It’s also possible that this invisible contract requires regular renegotiation.
That’s why these particular questions are important: https://twitter.com/operaqueenie/status/1305179610837995522
I’ll wrap the thread with this, food for thought:
Relationships are a form of currency.
They are powered by trust.
If you want want to be “rich” in this way, then you want to be clear on what your invisible contracts entail, and you want to honor them in the highest regard.
Relationships are a form of currency.
They are powered by trust.
If you want want to be “rich” in this way, then you want to be clear on what your invisible contracts entail, and you want to honor them in the highest regard.
