It's been 12 years but today, I am finally watching Twilight for the first time. It's been a *TRIP* so far.

Bella is so popular?? What the fuck?
Also Egg vampire? I'm-

Bellas dad is literally my favourite character so far - we just got to the hospital bit. I loVE CHARLIE.

Edward do be gaslighting bella already huh

Edward - YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM ME
Bella - *stays away from him*
Edward - I SAID STAY AWAY FROM ME
?????????????????????????

Bella is a lesbian. I refuse to believe otherwise.

charlie deserves the world

WHY IS EDWARD STANDING SO CLOSE IN THESE WOODS
SO CLOSE

ask me the most basic question -
ok, do you want pumpkin spice or no?

thiS IS SO AWKWARD, GET OUT THE TREE

soyou and edward huh i dont like it

I LIKE WATCHING YOU SLEEP
YOU DONE IT LONG
ONLY THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS

That is the first kiss of two queer people who are not out the closet yet

CHARLIE WITH A SHOTGUN AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE I-

JUST LITTLE BREAKFAST THINGS

BASEBALL SCENE

these hats do not fit the wigs huh

HELLO??? SUDDEN OTHER VAMPIRES????

TAKE YOUR HAIR DOWN???
IM

these close shots are
uncomfortable

ABSOLUTELY FUCK OFF WITH THE SQUATING AND HISSING
NO WAY
THAT DID NOT HAPPEN ASHDLSAJKL

DO NOT SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT

BELLA IS THE VILLIAN HERE WOW RUDE

Listen, LISTEN, Charlie deserves better. I cant believe Bella is being manipulated like this. Edward is a bad person who stalked her into a relationship.
what thE FUCK

is she go...is she planning on using pepPER SPRAY ON A VAMPIRE

PLEASE DONT TELL ME THAT IS GOING TO WORK

so....so vampires just straight up have reflections in this version huh

HOLY SHIT JUST ON FIRE HUH? NO MERCY

LMFAO AT THEM DANCING AROUND THE FLAMES IN THE BACKGROUND

her mum just updating her facebook status

edward just pretending to be asleep in the bg is killing me

wow edward being the voice of reason and telling her to leave

bella go to the house with more than one bathroom since that clearly upset you so much in the beginning

THE PROM SHOT STARTING ON THE BOOT IM

charlie just like last time you were here you broke up with him??? and it was messy??? why??? this??/

jacob reappearing like - hey im still in this series hi

.....leggings....dress....cardigan...? but none of them match???? I.... ok

BELLA POINTING OUT ANNA KENDRICKS TIDDIES LIKE - please I am not straight

'see youre dancing'

people outside the pagoda watching this weird dipping scene like

weird that everyone is....enjoying the prom but like....exclusively inside... when outside is all done up nicely too

waIT THATS IT IT ENDED ON A STAIR SCENE I

THE CREDITS ARE MAKING ME REWATCH THE FILM THIS IS ABUSE

THERE ARE FOUR MORE MOVIES
FUCK

SECOND MOVIE HERE WE GO

I SEE YOU HAVE A BUDGET NOW

@ Bella

NO MORE REFLECTION

Charlie gets dad of the year

Bella, shouting in the middle of the school - STOP USING UR SUPER POWERS JASPER

Nice, covert

Edward describing how to kill humans
Bella - why would you say that

THE FIRST SMART QUESTION

I WANT A PAINTING OF MICHAEL SHEEN

Edward thinks it’s weird he can’t read her mind but it’s just because head empty no think

Please tell me the Cullens won’t show up on camera that would be hilarious

Also this party is a fire hazard

HAH OK WHAT ABSOLUTELY FERAL JASPER

GOOD GOING EDWARD YOU BELL END

carlisle do be a dilf tho

you know, i sympathise with the constant 'TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE' shit because 18 year old me probably wouldve done the same

this is... I... this is so weird??? like??? He didnt get her a birthday present? Then she folds heRSELF OUT OF A PHOTO OF THEM TOGETHER???? And then edward stands ominously outside her home???

oop is this a break up

this is her birthday present - freedom

A++ acting here. Yes robert, give us nothing baby

ah yes, hang out in the woods alone after dark looking for your non boyfriend - theres definitely noTHING DANGEROUS IN THERE

he literally said in the last movie 'you cant catch me if you tried' why did you bOTHER

WHY HIM TIDDY OUT

Please free taylor lautner from this bad wig

they really love spinning cameras in thie franchise i feel so fucking dizZY

Bella in the first movie - youre a strong independant woman
bella now - sits in a window for monTHS? THINKS ABOUT ALICE????

let charlie rest

send bella to therapy pls

screaming in bed for moNTHS after a break up is Not A Healthy Reaction tm

'my cousin had leprosy' HELLO?

WHAT GHOST EDWARD IN THE MIST

SEND BELLA TO THERAPY CHALLENGE

'maybe im crazy now'
yes. yes you are.

JACOB IS SUCH A CUTE CHARACTER IM LOVE HIM

jacobs tldr is 'youre a white girl so you dont know shit' and hes so valid

the pizza throw transition??? what in the fuck

And here we see the tits out cult sacrificing one of their own

Jacob and Bella just look like two lesbians having a nice time

Bella, touches a motorbike
Ghost Edward -

“You’re sort of beautiful”

S o r t o f

Mike is the worst

WOAH OK JACOB

The plot so far is - girl tries to have friends, men think they deserve more from her

SHORT HAIR, HES FREE FROM THE WIG

You’ve been lying to EVERYONE.... Charlie.... *forgets anyone else’s name*

IM NOT.

GOOD.

‘You can’t break up with me’
Well you aren’t dating so????????

This movie didn’t have the budget for shirts

Pubby uwu

Au where Jacob shouts parkour every time he does a stunt

ok the werewolve are boss i fucking love the design

'its silly bitch hours' - sasha 2k20

JAWS THEME VAMPIRE LMFAO

bella drowns. roll credits

Alice the jumpscare

'i have never met anyone more prone to life threatening idiocy'

EDWARD WENT TO RIO???????????????

ITALY???????????????????????

MICHAEL SHEEN??????????????????????????????????????????

ALICE THREW THIS WHOLE LOOK TOGETHER THEN STOLE A CAR. QUEEN.

which assassins creed game is this

this awkward elevator scene is sending me what the fuCK

michael sheen i loveeee youuuuuu

bella - no thoughts, head empty
every single vampire - holy shit

tour group sacrifice huh

robert pattensens eyelashes are my favourite character

i almost forgot about jacob ahsdkjhsakjd

IT DID NOT JUST END ON A GASP I

THIS FILM ISNT REAL

SCREAMING IM SCREAMING LMFAO WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

ok. ok. im taking a break but then were about to start the third one.

THIRD ONE HERE WE GO

At least they have real rain now and not just an overlay

Wait so does she want to marry him or not? Is this just a tactic for immortality

@ set designers, whos choice was it for Bella to have chain curtains on her window????

you scared me

HAH OK EDWARD SABOTAGED HER TRUCK???

DONT MAKE ALICE SAD WHAT THE FUCK

GUILLOTINE

‘CONGRADUATION’

Iconic

I want a film about Bellas parents

Jakob has two moods - shirtless or wet

did she just ditch school?? also man her wig is also bad this film

how many clothes do werewolves get through in a day?

camera man...drunk...

JAKOB GETTING ANGRY AND THROWING THINGS

did....did he just threaten her life????

whos this panty sniffer

ah, so this one is so bad its having to rely on voiCE OVER EXPOSITION

DOESNT HE OWN A SHIRT?

ICONIC. SERIES IS OVER. WE CAN WRAP IT.

'we thought it was about time you learn the story, bella. no, it isnt just about you, there is more to this story i promise. anyway come sit around the fire so we can tell you what the fucks going on.'

jasper high key looks like the clown from IT sometimes

hue hue hue we all float down here bella

no one:
no one at all:
edward: I would LITERALLY RATHER YOU DIE then turn you into a vampire. this is my long game way of not staying in a relationship

god i just....hate love triangles as a plot point... especially when one person isnt intrested and the third person is just like I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU. Its just....bad.

HEY JAKOB? JAKOB??? A NO MEANS NO MY DUDE. STOP BEING CREEPY.

YES BELLA, PUNCH HIM.

ROSALIE IS A QUEEN. A PETTY BITCH QUEEN AND I LOVE HER. MURDERING IN A WEDDING DRESS. YES. BITCH.

jess is such a valid character

i want to just shove my face into the wolves. theyre so cute and look so soft.

carlilse is just...daddy

alice and pennywise is cute

where did this accent come from, i swEAR he didnt have a texan accent in the other films did they just deCIDE he has a backstory????

Jacob....bud....back off..............................

Alice and Charlie being friends clears my skin

'why didnt you get remarried after mom?'

idk bella, why didnt you just get the fuck over edward when you broke up??

Im a virgin! she said, before going to fuck her boyf

I know people shit on kristen stewart for these films but she had to pretend to be into men for five whole movies so like. hats off to her.

also bella stop trying to press your clearly demi/ace boyf into sex challenge.

oof that...that ring is.... Hm.... it looks like its from the dollar store yike
hideous

hey bella i got this ring out my christmas cracker - wanna hook up?

panty sniffer and ginger got big dreams huh

jacob carrying bella just....always looks so awkward

HEY BELLA, BELLA? WHY DIDNT YOU FUCKING??? IDK??? CHECK THE WEATHER???? OR BRING DECENT CAMPING BLANKETS???

jacobs such a weirdo fuck.
how was anyone team jacob or team edward?? theyre both awful

it is snOWING - WHERE IS YOUR JACKET YOU DUMB BITCH

bella and jakob kissed

these relationships are toxic

the infinity war fight be looking different here

wait are the vmapires just like....shattering????

why do people always just....thrOW lighters??? like???? thats so impracticle.

the silent hill girl is always so cute ;3;

taylor lautner has...such a boopable nose.

its a shame his character is! trash!

bella sit the fuck down, you're 18.

what is it with this film and flower fields???? oH OH ITS OVER?? O...OKAY.

fucksake we're onto the fourth. ok.

DOES NO ONE HAVE VISION

I luv u alice

god at least theyve taken away bellas awful wig

Predator murderer Edward is a fucking VIBE. Yes, kill those assholes.

And also is another reason why he doesnt like jakob ooop

emmet what the fuck you window creep

Ill be the one in white
EVERYONE IS IN WHITE IM

oh is it a dream

ok girl, if youre having dreams like thIS MAYBE ITS A SIGN

can alice plan my wedding holy shit

what happened with jess tho- she was so nice in the first one???

GET OUTTA THERE - YOU DONT WANT TO MARRY HIM

they made out so long everyone left

'I feel like getting drunk' VALID

is this an open mic night at their wedding?

boTH edward and bella look upset neither of them want this ahdkfsajkdsakhask

jakob out here making it even weirder huh

getting violent again? so healthy, so kind.

sad baby bitch wolf noises

RIO AGAIN
WHY
ARE RIO PAYING FOR THESE MOVIES?

im sorry they own an island near rio?????????????????

is this...is this an About To Bone Montage?????

you cant even look at underwear. Maybe you arent ready for this.

a shark eats edward, roll credits

this fucking montage is..... hella awks

bella - wears lingerie
edward - laughs
bella - wears lingerie again
edward - covers her up with the sheets

god.....god jakob is just....the worst.........

i like that they just...really didnt give a shit about giving edward vampire makeup this time.

HYPER SPEED PACKING - WISH THAT WAS ME

bella please try and go take a shit plEASE it still might just be a food baby

ok. Theyre ina car and were already an hOUR IN BUT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED.

Sasha has gone home so we are...postponing the rest of the watch party until Wednesday. dahsjdhaskjhaskjd