Thread by @thebooksatchel, Maybe it is high time I watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun. Just [...]

Maybe it is high time I watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun.

Just so we are clear, BOY caps for boys. Everyone is super enthu for a cricket match

Sulman’s entry scene is uhhhh... well..rubbing ball on crotch...to play cricket.

Ok hero with boy cap. Loves cricket

Why does her T shirt read BUM CHUMS? I am confused about this movie.

Talking about a prospective match for Prem’s (sulman) brother Rajesh. Girl’s name is Sweety and sister to our Bum Chums (Her name is Rita btw). This is Rita and Sweety’s aunty. Sweety is v modern girl

Sweety is a very attractive choice. She’s rich and she’s got the dowry man

Men talk now—But Sanskari Uncle (guardian) has brought up Prem and Rajesh with lots of sanskaar. So now there’s a secret alliance talk because there’s a sanskari seedhi saadhi girl with a sweet temperament who is perfect for Rajesh.

So they go on a fake pilgrimage for Rajesh and good girl to meet because how else? Here she is, helping her father in kitchen.

Her sister is our heroine Nisha. Books, roller skates and jeans. Bubbly character

Verrry good acting so far. What expressions. So natural.

Prem and Nisha meet. But we have a problem. Prem talks like this. Maybe because he is MBA topper.

Not sure why Nisha wants to skate and spin to return books but she is carrying them away on her shoulders while returning. Maybe it is style

Sankskari Uncle and Professor Uncle (Nisha’s father) meet. Sanskari Uncle tells his plans. Prof uncle says ok ‘after all he is your nephew’ (Who needs to see him anyway.
Also they need Badi Beti Pooja as wife for Rajesh. But uncle also says this. So many responsibilities

This Rajesh guy understood or not whether this is boy-girl meet and that’s his future wife?

A MOMENT. They fall in love

Rajesh doesn’t look so sure if you ask me. But who cares. He hasn’t figured out he was tricked into meeting a potential bride so maybe he is dumb

If you like it then you should put a ring on it.
(Of course no one asks Priya because ofc Rajesh is nephew of Sanskari Uncle so why should she even think of rejecting it. Also Nisha saw her talking with Rajesh and taking his empty teacup!)

Wah wah Ramji... I love this song

Back in their own house and Rita says Haaaaigh.
Not ‘hi’ but sexy hi

She is going to win Prem’s heart with the only thing that can move Indian men’s hearts. She will make halwa in half an hour. She’s got a book to help her.

Ofc we know at this point it will be a disaster. Maybe burnt or maybe she will add salt?

Salt. Rita so stupid that she can’t see SALT written on the jar. Ofcourse if she could cook well then Prem would’ve had a hard time choosing between Rita and Nisha. What luck!

Aunty has come back and she is very angry that there is no dowry. Sanskari Uncle and Aunty’s husband are happy though. Personality over dowry and money. Yes!

Actually no. Pooja’s family has ancestral wealth. So all good. Still Aunty is little sad

She is sad because if her niece Sweety was chosen, then they could have some time pass. Now they can’t get tired because no dowry

Some comedy scene with salty halwa. Prem tells Rita she can’t make halwah = she can’t win his heart.
If only YouTube tutorials were a thing then! Rita and Prem could’ve been a couple. But bad halwah, no Prem and no prem.

Bride’s family visits groom’s house. Nisha meets Tuffy.

Tuffy is an important member in family and an integral part of the movie. Ok?

Prem flirts with Nisha by showing her Rajesh’s “most beautiful painting”

What does Nisha see in this Prem guy????

More ceremonies. Professor uncle asks for hug from Sanskari uncle because later on he can’t hug but only ‘bow’ because ladki side people.

Song and dance. And tbh it is very amusing because it looks like there’s some romance between Sanskari Uncle and Pooja and Nisha’s mother. Is this some subplot? In-law romance and scandal?

I am not joking. This is after she asks Sanskari Uncle to sing. Is he an irresistible man?

Eyes meet. Eyes unmeet. I don’t know why Nisha’s mother is so shy! This man is Sanskari uncle btw. And Nisha’s father is very encouraging of Uncle’s singing too.

(Sanskari Uncle is saying things her sari looks great and about her anklets etc. Isn’t it creepy or is it just me?)

Yes... I am very conflicted too.
Next line says she is singing in front of her in-law.

Nisha’s mummy, I don’t think you need to do anything else. You are over thinking

Well it is conflicting when husband is doing this and Sanskari Uncle is singing with sparkles in his eyes. This is a difficult situation.

Song dance over. Hugs. Pooja’s mummy seems normal now and happy with her husband.
Now everyone changed outfits and I think next song is incoming

Some games and etc etc. and this child totally lost cool because uncles are too interfering

They should’ve really given Sulman lesser dance steps. Because after all you know we can SEE Madhri doing the actual steps

Nisha and Prem chase each other and fall... eyes meeting.. falling in luvvv

Ok crying and all that. Nice . Wedding done. My internet is finicky. So later.

Now some new couple romance. Playing cricket. Rajesh is also BOY

New bride Pooja is GIRL. Personally I think it is very unfair that Rita got a BUM CHUMS T-shirt only and no GIRL cap

How are they getting all these school kids to come whenever they play cricket in this house? Don’t they have school?

Also note everyone is BOY or GIRL except our poor Rita.

Pooja establishes as best Bahu. Good in cooking, cricket and praying

She also makes Prem eat. All that motherly love that Sanskari Uncle wanted- check

Don’t mind Prem. He will stare creepily when husband and wife are eating. Sorry when husband is eating and wife is cutting apples for him.

So glad this family got a slave. Pooja doesn’t do anything else, not even eat, so far

No plate for her. She gives one glass of milk to Sanskari Uncle and Prem takes away the other glass from her. Poor girl, she thought she could atleast have some milk after toiling after three grown up me. But no.

Sorry I was too harsh on Prem. He only wanted to feed her the glass of milk himself.

Ladies if your brother in law wants a replica of you as his wife, please stay away. This Prem is too clingy. Hardly any scenes with the husband Rajesh. Except the cricket match

Apparently there was some off screen romance because Pooja is pregnant. Also they have this poster of a baby with ‘No problem’ between two parrots in their bedroom. Ladies, if you are in houses like this, please get the hell out. I am worried about Pooja

Pooja just found out that she is pregnant and they open the door to this. Did Prem do this? Man, if he did, he is very creepy

This whole film is full of ceremonies and visits between the in-law houses.

Prem is visiting. Nisha is happy

He brought flowers. I don’t know if this is flirting or some indication for BDSM. Prem is too deep.

But why Indian girls not valuing genuine men like Prem?

Prem has problems clearly. He is giving Nisha flowers and chocolates and then speeding the vehicle to impress her.

(he plays cricket with Rita everyday and didn’t take her for a drive even once? Oh yeah he didn’t give her GIRL cap either. No drive for motherly sis in law too)

Ladies please don’t get into jeeps with scribbles all over like this. How does anyone not find Prem creepy?
I love my family, cool rider, Try to Catch me, X and zero game, Don

I like this song. I haven’t heard it before.

Nisha will be staying with Pooja for a while. Pooja’s father is happy that Sanskari Uncle is happy with Pooja and also that she is reading Ramayana. So far she and Rajesh hardly spend time together. No cricket matches after their first one. Now she is pregnant also.

God help me. There’s another ceremony!!

Our snobbish aunty is very stylish today

Prem being creepy as usual. Another aunty this time.

Yes she had to try several times to escape from his ‘charms’

Meanwhile Rita arrives looking pretty. Probably the first guest to bring something for Pooja because after all, it is Pooja’s party

One man has weird fantasies seeing Rita. No comments

Ufff Madhri is the best part of this movie.

Prem flirts with Nisha while playing pool with uncles.

Will resume after a short break after I delete 16383848 photos from my phone and also charge this thing.

SORRY. I missed one very important piece of advice that Prof Uncle gives Prem somewhere in the movie. Men, If you are having problems in your married life, this is an expert tip. Think it was Kachori, I already forgot

Resuming thread. Now this is some ladies only function. But creepy Prem wants to see the function. He asks permission (a big thing for Prem actually). Nisha says men not allowed.

He asks the uncles about this mysterious ladies programme

Uncles giving practical advice because why should girls have some space and time alone away from kitchen. Why should they have all the fun?

Always always call your man-kids decent. All Indian men are decent and genuine only

Who will ever think these are men sneaking into an all girls’ party?

The men are thrown out of the party. But they come again saying they are capturing video for memoriezzzz.

Why would indian men think no is no?

Thank god we have atleast one aunty who has seen the world. No tricks can get past her

Again... No

At least dog Tuffy is a decent guy and left the scene

Prem still doesn’t get it. He spies on the party. He also has snacks and cool drinks at the side. Prem yaaaaaaa

So now the song and dance has begun. There’s a fake Prem. He unties blouse strings and hugs aunties uncomfortably. Maybe the girls are trying to tell him not to be such a creep

Fake Prem is just as creepy as real Prem. But the real Prem who is watching the whole show doesn’t seem to get it. Maybe he thinks all girls are his fans.

I like this song. Old favourite. Humming along

I hope this imli is just a cute scene and not something sexual. It isn’t , is it? I like this song. I won’t let anything spoil it. (Except Prem who spoils everything)

Looks like Nisha is giving us CLEAR HINTS using Fake Prem. But nobody listens

Fake Prem is also weird. Something with boobs. The video of this song is so crappy

Ok enough of this Fake Prem. Real Prem throws a flower using a slingshot aimed at Nisha’s butt. No one can take away his best creep award. He is gonna crash the partyyyyy

I skipped this part of Real Prem fantasizing about ten babies with Nisha. Dude, you didn’t even ask her out yet. Typical Prem.

Crashed the party. Trying to crash the chandelier. Atleast he’s got his shirt on.

Okay now Prem dressed in a silk lingerie and pretending to be pregnant. Complete sicko this fellow is. First crash an all girls party and then do this.

Everybody has forgotten Pooja at this stage even though party is in her honour because this Prem is such an attention seeker

Fast forward. Rajesh has to leave for work. Pooja tries telling Prem that you know may be he should work instead of being an MBA topper and telling that girls can’t do math and being a creep

Nisha established as good girl. She cooks well and also waits for Prem until he returns late night. She serves him food

Prem realizes she is truly the one because she is cutting apples like how his sister in law Pooja cuts apples for Rajesh. Replica found

Some kitchen romance

Prem thinks he can remove his shirt and dance to win Nisha’s heart

Btw baby is born and everyone is happy. One big happy family

Prem and Nisha Pls leave that baby alone for these flirting mind games. Just tell directly that you love each other. Poor baby. Maybe Nisha loves the baby so much

Prem as usual is an attention seeker so he goes out into the rain and does some stupid dance on one leg. Nisha runs out with an umbrella. Prem is happy. God knows what happened to the baby

Baby daddy is back. This pic is to give some importance to this poor couple. Because attention seeking Prem never lets them have any screen time. Small, happy family

Ahem. Small break. Will continue with the all night wild party.

(I am sure Prem will be the attention seeker spoiling the party. Sigh)

this party is the MOST BORING PARTY IN THE HISTORY OF PARTIES. Skipping.

Ok Pooja is very nice to everyone incl servants in his house. Prem tells her that he and Nisha are in love and she is very happy.

But pls take a look at Prem’s Jeep- Boy of the year, Hi, Have fun, is that a phone no?, ladders, weird Mickey Mouse. I am worried about Nisha

Random dancing, Pooja dies in an accident as she falls down the stairs. Tuffy is a decent actor.

Now the thing is only Pooja knew about the romance between Nisha and Prem

Of course what can men do with a baby?

Uncles form a brilliant plan because Rajesh has too much tension about baby. But Pooja just died... never mind

Snobbish aunty says mean things. So she gets slapped by her husband. Is it even an Indian movie if the bitchy, beauty Parlour going woman in the movie doesn’t get slapped? Thank god indian men are there to protect us all.

Uncles try to get Rajesh married. But what he really wants is for them to leave him alone. But interfering uncles form a brilliant plan to get Nisha married to Rajesh. Who cares if they were like brother and sister? Nisha’s father is elated. So is everyone else

Isn’t it weird if brother in law and sister in law become husband and wife and have sex? Prof Uncle, his wife and Sanskari Uncle should be put in bars really. Also I hope Rajesh and Nisha would’nt have to sleep in this bedroom with this scary baby poster

Nisha says yes thinking she is accepting Prem in marriage but actually she said yes to Rajesh.

Ladies please verify man’s name before you do stupid things like this

Okay atleast she discovered it a little before when somebody reads out her wedding card. If it was at the mandal it would’ve been total surprise and typical Bollywood

Rajesh writes a letter asking if Nisha is okay with this. Clearly he is uncomfortable marrying her. But Nisha and Prem decide to do their ‘duty’

I actually knew about this plot twist before itself, so not shocked. I will continue doing my duty of updating the thread

I don’t know why Nisha does stupid things like sending an old letter and necklace that reveals that she and Prem were in love via Tuffy. To Prem. This girl is quite silly. She can spin on skates and dance but can’t say no

Also there’s a god part before this because Hindi movies can only be saved by god. And Tuffy in this case who gives the letter and necklace to Rajesh.

Rajesh understands truth about his to-be-wife Nisha and her brother in law and ex lover Prem

Sure uncle this Nisha and Prem nearly spoilt Rajesh’s already sad life but it was their ‘duty’

I would be traumatized if I had a father like you who asks his younger daughter to marry her brother in law just so she can look after her sister’s baby. So many genuine men in this movie

Remember Rita and a man who has creepy fantasies about her? Well now she is okay with that. I guess? God forbid any Indian man has an unfulfilled dream or romantic choice in a film.

Happy family. They will alternate with baby sitting because that is the decent thing to do. You don’t marry your relatives to raise their children

Everyone dancing. Rajesh clapping hands thinking when the F can I get out of this damn set and movie?

Snobbish aunty is redeemed. She is now an established good girl. Not only is she pregnant, but also sporting big sindoor, transitional hairdo, non stylish blouse and covers her head with sari. Her husband is also very happy

happily ever after. Prem has zero (sorry maybe a week) work experience so far, but love is blind. Also they are rich, so that’s good. And Nisha cooks and is a good girl. Prem is creepy boy though. He asked N to marry his brother and become his Bhabhi. But love is blind

Fin

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