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On the subject of “biblical masculinity”:
There was a time in my life when I truly felt out of place for not conforming to particular “masculine” stereotypes.
I was never athletic and generally uninterested in sports as a kid. (In God’s goodness, I love sports now.) /1
There was a time in my life when I truly felt out of place for not conforming to particular “masculine” stereotypes.
I was never athletic and generally uninterested in sports as a kid. (In God’s goodness, I love sports now.) /1
I ran the other direction when my dad tried to show me how to fix things. I couldn’t wait to go inside and play Nintendo. Honestly, I wish I had paid more attention. I’m still playing catch-up. /2
I didn’t hunt or fish. The thought of it bored me (and still does). /3
Though I tried to hide it well, I was shy, awkward, and uncomfortable around many boys who matured more quickly than me. /4
In middle school and high school, I was always frustrated that the girls I liked were more into those guys than me. I was painfully oblivious to the girls who actually did like me during that awkward phase of my life. /5
I get that we associate masculinity with physical activity, outdoor life, and mechanical competence. But that’s cultural conditioning. /6
It took me a long time to feel comfortable in my skin as a movie geek, a lover of the arts, and someone who had a great passion for the written word. /7
Somewhere along the way I retrained myself to have a greater appreciation for these things I once overlooked or ignored, but it came with time and a lot of pain. /8
I recently learned from an adult friend how painful some of these struggles can be in the life of a local church when “men’s retreats” or “manly weekends” were associated with these activities he had little or no interest in participating in. /9
I regret any pain I caused him by endorsing some of these activities as the way to be a biblical man. I learned that he felt marginalized by me—in some sense because I overcompensated for my own insecurities. /10
If I had an urgent plea for a church speaking into a very different world for millennials and Gen-Zers: don’t buy into the same gender stereotypes that drive people into confusion about their gender identity or sexual orientation. /11
We are a largely urban generation that does not know much of the world loved and appreciated by former generations. And that’s okay. God still loves me and calls me a son. /12
There’s more to being a biblical man than liking to shop at the Bass Pro Shop, and to equate manhood with those cultural associations is an assault to Scripture and the gospel. /13
I was reminded of this this week when I was reading the story of Jacob and Esau. Esau had this superficial version of masculinity down to a tee. /14
Jacob was a mama’s boy with soft skin who ran at the sight of conflict. He was a lover, not a fighter or a hunter. Yet God was molding him into exactly the man he wanted him to be. /15
Jacob didn’t fit the family bill of masculinity, which I presume fed into his insecurity, but look at how that story of redemption ended. /16
I know women who have had similar experiences in reverse. They felt uncomfortable in their own skin because of the cultural, not biblical expectations placed on them. /17
Let our definitions of masculinity and femininity be driven by character and faithfulness to God’s design, not hobbies or skillsets, our roles in the family, and not our interests. /18
We can do so much better. /19
