Someone over at Mastodon was wondering if it was possible to transmit DSL over a banana. I did not have one at hand, but found an alternative.
I cut one of the two DSL copper strands, in half and pushed it into an apple.

Well, it works. With astonishing high data rates.

I'm not joking, please try this at home, it works!

There's one caveat: This probably only works well with DSL Lines using Vectoring. In my case it's DSL profile 35b, which uses fancy DSP processing magic to reduce crosstalk and noise.

Expect some fruit & vegetable DSL benchmarks. We have numerous different modems and DSLAM line cards at our test lab at work.

I got several requests on how fast potato internet is, so I plugged one between the second DSL wire.
Didn't even cost much bandwidth, still about 175/39 Mbit/s! Definitely some HF-magic going on here.
The apple doesn't seem to be too happy about the heat in the cabinet, though.

Under normal circumstances (say: no food connected to my modem) my line syncs to ~205/45 Mbit/s, btw.

Because there were some questions regarding my cabling: I wired the line to pin 4 & 5 of an 8P8C (falsely known as RJ45) socket. I stripped away the extra wires for this photo.

Lost ~90 Mbit/s over night :(