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i’m going to be taking a break from twitter for awhile, but before i do, i want to leave you with my thoughts on the first week of remote learning: a thread.
i was adamant that i would not be returning to in-person school at the beginning of this school year out of concern for my health and safety, and the health and safety of my students and their families.
i even went so far as to make an ADA request relating to a medical condition that i be allowed to work remotely regardless of CPS’s decision. and here i am, finishing out the first week of remote learning. and let me tell you: it’s rough.
i’m in my ninth year of teaching. i’m pretty tech savvy. i have an excellent, new laptop and very reliable, high-speed internet. i don’t have kids. none of that mattered. i still found myself in tears more than once this week, feeling desperate and ineffective.
part of my angst is due to CPS’s terrible decisionmaking around what to do in the fall. CPS delayed making the safest choice for students--going fully remote--until a few weeks before school was set to begin, leaving teachers, students, and families scrambling to make it work.i
CPS mandated we use google meet for all our class meetings, software that lacks multiple critical features for teaching that other platforms like zoom have.
CPS designed a schedule that has students sitting in front of a computer for almost 7 hours a day, a schedule that anyone who has ever worked with kids knows is neither feasible nor healthy.
it feels like CPS designed remote learning to fail. and i certainly have my conspiracy theories about what CPS’s real agenda is, but i’m willing to set those aside for the moment and say that they probably didn’t try to design a failing system.
what CPS did do was prioritize their own control of remote learning over the research and pedagogy of teachers who know this is not the best way to teach kids remotely.
CPS prioritized covering their own asses over making sure that students and their families had the kinds of support necessary for this incredibly challenging moment.
CPS prioritized maintaining the status quo over seizing the opportunity to reimagine education in a way that is more equitable for all our kids, and fully acknowledges their humanity.
and now here i am, trying to make all of this work with my laptop in my guest bedroom from my apartment. it feels like i’m trying to be successful in a system that fails everyone. it makes me feel helpless and angry and alone.
tuesday and wednesday were particularly difficult for me, maybe two of the hardest days of my teaching career. i’ve since made it to friday and am feeling better about things.
part of this is acknowledging what’s in front of me: CPS has made good teaching impossible, and i can’t work myself to death trying to make things work within their framework.
what i can do is what jenny odell refers to in her excellent book “How to Do Nothing” as resisting in place. i’m not going to leave teaching. i’m not going to leave CPS.
instead, i’m going to stake out my little digital classroom, and i’m going to close the door, and i’m going to do what i know is best for kids.
if that means giving them the space and time to sit together & read & write for a long stretch of time, that’s what i’m going to do. if that means instead of covering content we just talk & listen to each other about whatever each of us needs to say, that’s what i’m going to do.
if that means resisting the urge to always do more more more and we don’t end up getting much done, that’s what i’m going to do.
things are not normal. the world is not normal. we need to stop pretending that everything is normal, and fine, and good enough to make remote learning look nearly identical to in-person learning.
we as teachers need to claim space and give it away to our students in whatever form they need it most.
what sustains me as a teacher is not praise from administrators, or high evaluation scores, or the test score growth my students achieve.
what sustains me as a teacher is the relationships i have with students and colleagues. that’s where i’m going to keep my focus, and if i can do that, i think this year will be okay.
