A Friday thread

After all we have done, we have to go backwards

I don’t know about you, but the announcements about cutting back to social gatherings of six were harder to take than I thought they would be. I understand the decision, and I accept it. But it had an impact.

I mean, it doesn’t feel fair, does it? We’ve done what we were asked and we’ve cancelled or changed planned holidays, limited our celebrations, felt (but in many cases have been unable to share) the keen sorrow of those who have been bereaved over the past six months.

And work has been disrupted – people we know, and people we don’t, are out of work; people who hoped to start work have seen their prospects go. Education has been disrupted, and the measured return carries its own risks and uncertainties.

Businesses have suffered – some gone for ever, with all the impacts that involves. Health services disrupted, scheduled treatments deferred. And people dying in care homes without the comfort of family, leaving a deeper sorrow for the love that could not be shared at the end.

And now this. Another restriction when we thought things were at last getting a little better. I know of a ruby wedding celebration which can’t go ahead as planned, and a child’s birthday party that won’t really be a party at all. You will have your own examples.

Let’s not forget those for whom a social gathering of six people would be a welcome improvement on what they have now. Or surrounded by care but isolated from loved ones. And those for whom a bigger gathering is a safer gathering, and limited numbers represent more danger.

And what about those who gather to protest that the virus is a hoax, and mask wearing is an imposition? I mean, they’re the real problem are they not? Or it’s these young people, isn’t it? They gather carelessly and don’t care if they spread this virus to others.

It won’t help if we think like that. Perhaps many of those who protested are decent and kind, but are taken in by persuasive arguments in a complex and confusing world. And young people – I could give you many examples of young people who do comply, and who did make sacrifices.

I never met anyone whose mind was changed, or who altered their behaviour meaningfully, as a result of being told that they are stupid and hateful. Hatred does many things but it is no answer to hate – it diminishes me, and does nothing to change the person I see as my enemy.

That’s not to say that a robust factual response is wrong – indeed it is often right. But one of the most persuasive things any of us can do is model the behaviours we want to see. Which is why I think we need to stick with these new restrictions, which are in place for a reason.

If I say, I can adjust the restrictions, what influence do I retain? After all, my adjustment on gatherings is another person’s adjustment on mask wearing. Compliance quickly comes down to personal preference, and that way lies the loss of all the progress we have made so far.

So, this is tough and I don’t like it, and I’m not even in a local lockdown! But I need your help to stick with it, so that we can keep what we have gained, such as: gradual moves towards ultimate economic recovery; some normality in education; and some sport and exercise options

This road will be bumpy for a good while; few bumps will be signposted. But I would rather we walked it together, helping each other when we stumble. If each chooses their own path, the risk is that we suddenly find the road closed, and everyone catapulted back to where we were.

Remember these days? Strict limits on daily exercise and travel, no eating out, all venues closed and most health services at a standstill, schools, colleges, universities closed. Business hit or shut, the economy slumping. Substantial impacts on individuals and family groups.

The wider political context, nationally and globally, is increasingly scratchy and noisy, wherever you stand. So, on balance, as far as these restrictions go, I prefer the uncomfortable to the potentially unbearable, the rational to what I hope is the unthinkable.

Because with the sound and fury around, staying reasonable where we can seems the clearest route to calm within, and a bulwark against the uproar beyond. In doing so, you can lie down at the end of your day saying to yourself, I did what I could, and I did what was right.