There's a particularly unpleasant experience that it seems like most people who are (cis?) male feminist nerds have at least some of, which is that they've internalised the idea that their being attracted to women is in some sense morally bad.

Combination of growing up in an environment where "X is attracted to a girl!!!" is treated as a hilarious subject of bullying plus a lot of feminism acquired as an adult telling them that it's almost impossible to hit on women without being an oppressor.

The reality is that being attracted to people is good and honestly it's not that hard to ethically hit on someone, but this can be a hard message to internalise.

(This isn't a feeling that just affects men, there just seems to be this specific combination that leads to it reliably)