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I've been getting some questions about polyamory and relationship anarchy (and attempting to answer a lot of my own) over the last few months, since the conclusion of my longterm monogamous relationship earlier this year.
(Before I begin, please know that my perspective on this is evolving; I will update this thread as and when I need to.)
I thought I'd be talking about it in order, but like my brain, it is organised chaos.
Greyromantic, while on the aromantic spectrum, differs in meaning from individual to individual.
I could very easily link you to a definition (or you could do a Google search yourself), but I feel like explaining my understanding of it would be more authentic.
I could very easily link you to a definition (or you could do a Google search yourself), but I feel like explaining my understanding of it would be more authentic.
As someone who perceives the world through a pop culture lens, you'd assume that my notions of love and romance are influenced and moulded by it. They used to be for the longest time.
Now, while still actively enjoying portrayals of heteronormative alloromantic love (I was watching Bridget Jones's Diary before writing this), I disassociate almost all actions done out of love from the term 'romantic'.
Charlie Brooker, one of my inspirations and a mentor really, has spoken about how our entire cognitive framework for understanding love and romance has been shaped by the media, specifically in a way that benefits monogamy and capitalism.
Polyamory is anti-capitalist. ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS.
One of the biggest myths peddled by media, and society at large, is that your "significant other" is your best friend, your soulmate, the only one who will ever truly understand you.
COMPLETE DONKEY BALLS.
COMPLETE DONKEY BALLS.
The 'romantic' relationship is always expected to supersede and take priority over platonic relationships.
I have found this to be especially true in monogamous relationships, like in my erstwhile one. It was suffocating.
I have found this to be especially true in monogamous relationships, like in my erstwhile one. It was suffocating.
I do have to say that ending it helped me get to this thread of epiphanies.
Please also know that while a 'traditional' structure doesn't work for me in relationships, it could work for someone else.
I can also have a sustained relationship with someone who requires this; I cannot guarantee that I can give them that though.
I can also have a sustained relationship with someone who requires this; I cannot guarantee that I can give them that though.
I think the issue lies in the quantification of love, the existence of rigid expectations, the inability to bear silence and make it comfortable.
The worst thing that the combination of the above can do is strip away the platonic love you once shared with someone who may now define as romantic.
It could happen either way, but the former occurs more, simply due to the dominance of societal monogamy.
It could happen either way, but the former occurs more, simply due to the dominance of societal monogamy.
One of the things I have taken issue with in most romcoms is that the exclusively platonic relationships in them are not the primary focus of the story.
Because I'll be honest; I'd rather see a polycule interpretation of the relationship Bridget, Jude, Shazzer, and Tom have.
Because I'll be honest; I'd rather see a polycule interpretation of the relationship Bridget, Jude, Shazzer, and Tom have.
I'd like to talk about how I see love and attraction. My love is anarchic. I once told someone significant to me that I "love abundantly with random ambition".
It consists of aspects that are intellectual, platonic, and sexual; in varying intensities.
It consists of aspects that are intellectual, platonic, and sexual; in varying intensities.
Could aspects that are perceived as 'romantic' exist in these relationships? Absolutely.
It's like herb seasoning on a pizza. Not only do I not always need it, but its existence also does not reduce the significance of pizza without it.
It's like herb seasoning on a pizza. Not only do I not always need it, but its existence also does not reduce the significance of pizza without it.
Most importantly, 'romantic' aspects existing in a relationship will not necessarily make me term it as such, or even ever.
As the aforementioned significant person once said to me, "There are no absolutes".
As the aforementioned significant person once said to me, "There are no absolutes".
Going to address the anarchic aspect I mentioned, since I also mentioned relationship anarchy.
While I did say that I wouldn't refer people to links, this manifesto has been very helpful in shaping my understanding on the subject. https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy
While I did say that I wouldn't refer people to links, this manifesto has been very helpful in shaping my understanding on the subject. https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy
As much as my love is abundant, its anarchic quality lies in how my love is shaped by the uniqueness of the humans in my periphery.
Each of them is a combination of personality traits that cannot be duplicated, in that their importance cannot be replaced by another's existence.
Each of them is a combination of personality traits that cannot be duplicated, in that their importance cannot be replaced by another's existence.
I am new to 'practising' polyamory. I am new to relationship anarchy as well, and my understanding of being greyromantic is fluid.
I feel like this thread will be a work in progress; never truly complete. Because human attraction is pretty much the same.
FIN (for now).
I feel like this thread will be a work in progress; never truly complete. Because human attraction is pretty much the same.
FIN (for now).
Been thinking about this since yesterday. :')
For me, expression constitutes love. I love the PFP crew in my life because they infuse and affirm me, giving me room to express my unconditional love and gratitude. https://twitter.com/gauravpramanik/status/1305822090306547712
For me, expression constitutes love. I love the PFP crew in my life because they infuse and affirm me, giving me room to express my unconditional love and gratitude. https://twitter.com/gauravpramanik/status/1305822090306547712
I think being a writer and artist also plays a huge role in this. https://twitter.com/lavisaconstruct/status/1305823924727418880
Love so intense and fulfilling; it makes you want to create. 
Almost my entire polycule is Bong-Malayali, and I wouldn't have it any other way. https://twitter.com/lavisaconstruct/status/1306966495902064640
Polyamorous people: We're going to harvest love and create resources and Twitter threads and content so that more people can understand how lovely polyamory is.
Monogamous people: Wow y'all a bunch of PREACHY RUDE BITCHES.
Monogamous people: Wow y'all a bunch of PREACHY RUDE BITCHES.
Anybody uplifting monogamy by making polyamory look bad <<<<< https://twitter.com/lavisaconstruct/status/1307586415484497920
Cis het people with opinions are the WORST. https://twitter.com/lavisaconstruct/status/1307580126121484288
I have over 30 mutuals with this person.
It's amazing how people will do ANYTHING to uphold and defend the status quo.
It's amazing how people will do ANYTHING to uphold and defend the status quo.
One of my best follows. 
https://twitter.com/bigdeekenergyy/status/1307580686736396288
https://twitter.com/bigdeekenergyy/status/1307580686736396288
Reminders of my approach to polyamory are so joyful, especially on a day when I've had to deal with monogamous polyamphobic arsewipes. https://twitter.com/qikipedia/status/1307605420219998208
