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Just here to remind future me that you started fully crushing on Spade right about now. Can’t wait for you to read this in a few months and reply with an update.
Update. They called me a dork endearingly. It made me feel really happy. Things seem to be going well. I’ll keep future me posted
My stomach feels like 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🦋" title="Schmetterling" aria-label="Emoji: Schmetterling">. I just love this person so much and we admitted that we love each other. It’s long distance so it would be tough but we both know that our feelings are strong. I just want things to be like this forever. I even trusted him with my real name in like a day
You know what Helios, you may have had me pegged pretty accurately, but you were wrong about one thing, and that’s that the only reason for talking with girls/guys ur attracted to is sex, but all I want from spade is a genuine relationship
Having doubts, I love him so much, but it feels like I can’t be me anymore when we’re alone. It feels like if I’m not this super cutesy boyfriend who always needs to be giving attention. I don’t mind him being clingy but I don’t know if I can give him what he wants, so I feel bad
Well, I changed myself so that I was more comfortable and felt more like me around him. It turns out that he didn’t like the real me,as expected. Now, things are looking bad, I’m not showing him enough attention, I don’t even know how to define “love” but I care for him a lot.
I think he’s going to break up with me tonight, and r at the very least we’re going to have a long talk about what our relationship will be. I hope to god that he doesn’t call me WHIOE HES HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS. Like god damn can OUR RELATIONSHIP have some privacy. It’s tough.
He started an Onlyfans as soon as he turned 18 which is while we’re are dating obviously and like I looked at it, and it’s immediately just his nudes. Spade, it’s your choice to do what you want and you did ask me about it but I lied when you asked me if I was comfortable W/ it.
Yeah we’re done. He said he needs time and now he blocked me I assume he’ll unblock me but I’ve got just a sneaking suspicion that everyone in the server is gonna be on his side because they like him more. HEY FUTURE ME, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME.
I ran out of characters, so to clarify, this would be the third time you, join a discord, make a bunch of friends, feel like you have a community, and then get in to either a good friendship or an actual relationship, and then bad things happen and you’ll probably have to leave.
Ya know what, to be honest, I didn’t realize what I had till I lost it and I’d kinda like to get him back. I’m now realizing that I care for him and love him so much I I never gave him the attention he deserves. God damn it I’m an asshole.
I still care about him a lot, but he sure was talking to that one guy a lot before and after we broke up. Probably just my fault again for not giving him enough attention. I just don’t wanna be around those two borderline flirting so I left the server and idk if I’ll come back.
Ugh, everything’s making me think of him. We’re talking and joking around now like before we were dating, but I can’t help but feel he doesn’t like me. The other guy he was talking to is probably gonna get with him and Idk if I’m emotionally ready to handle that yet.
Still miss him but like I guess I’ve been past it. I miss having his company, but dating was really stressful.
If I could do one thing right now, I would go back to September and try and make everything right.
We said we would always love each other. We said we would be together someday. I still want that to happen but I don’t know if he feels the same way about me Maybe things would be different if I could come see him and show him how I feel. I want to give him everything he deserves
I just want to feel cared about, but now I feel like leaving everything and I don’t know why. Maybe if he told me he cared about me any time hes sober I wouldn’t feel this way, but he doesn’t, he just calls me mean and tells me I do everything is or was awful. I miss home so much
This feels exactly like last time, except he’s just more polite. I’m incapable of showing people I love them besides just saying words. Even if I do end up with him in Canada, I still don’t even know if he’ll take back. I hurt him so I guess it’s only fair that he hurts me.
I feel terrible, I keep changing how I feel about him, but all I know is that I need him. He told me he wasn’t comfortable with any kind of relationship with anyone, but I just need him to wait for me, so I can show him how much I care.
I hate myself right now more then I ever despised Valor, any of those Welch faggots, and anyone who’s ever crossed me.
How do I confess to him? I just don’t know how to tell him everything I need to. It’d paragraphs essays a list of faults longer then any book ever written
I’m just going to say everything here and send him this thread whenever I decide to do whatever I do.
Sonny, I just want to start with I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never gave you the attention you needed. I’m sorry I ever made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry I made cis men look bad.
Sonny, I just want to start with I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never gave you the attention you needed. I’m sorry I ever made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry I made cis men look bad.
