1. Don't shame people for not having deployed

2. Know when it's okay to sit back and listen as someone who has never deployed, even if you're in a position of authority.

One of my ALC instructors had never deployed. At one point our group had a conversation about the frustrations of losing friends in combat and feeling anger towards command over it.

What the instructor did was to sit back and let us talk, and just facilitate the conversation.

What he was able to do was to ask how we channel those emotions as leaders, and to ask how we would help soldiers in similar situations.

He was able to take some very raw feelings and channel it in a productive way.

So no, you don't need a deployment to be a good leader. But what he specifically *didn't* do was tell us how to feel about our deployment experiences either. And he didn't try to pretend he could relate 100% either.

There's more than one way to lead or teach.