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So I'm not in therapy again bc its so damn expensive but the thing I gained from my last one is that the things I've experienced in my life are legitimate trauma, something I honestly never categorized before.
As a result I've started reframing my reactions to things under this new knowledge. Like. Last night I had a trauma response due to a trigger (a door "slamming").
I wasnt in therapy long enough to tackle these things but just naming them has totally changed my outlook and approach when they happen.
But also I'm embarrassed by these things because the names make them feel more Serious so when I talk to my partner about it I feel like I'm getting all self-diagnosey or making excuses for myself. And ofc he doesn't take it that way. But I get in my head.
There is no revelation at the end of this thread or anything I'm just brain dumping where I'm at in this process I guess. Sorry 
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The dangerous part about this mindset as a whole is that the more upset I get with myself, the more harm I want to do to myself. I get mad at myself for being anxious/depressed/unfocused or feeling crazy or at my body for failing me (so much chronic pain) that I punish myself
The dangerous part about this mindset as a whole is that the more upset I get with myself, the more harm I want to do to myself. I get mad at myself for being anxious/depressed/unfocused or feeling crazy or at my body for failing me (so much chronic pain) that I punish myself
None of this thread makes sense im sorry im just
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