in my mind, i had created this clear & strong division between the love that exists in romantic relations and the one that exists in platonic relations. i was operating in this binary and thinking depth, intimacy and displays of affection are reserved ONLY for romantic relations.

so whenever i’d feel that deep understanding and love for friends, i would associate it with romance because the heteronormative patriarchal society has truly taught us to devalue friendship. so i would desire physical closeness with friends or to just be raw and real

in our connections but then i’d stop myself from authentically loving them because “holding their hand is weird..things may get confused.” or bringing them flowers.. holding them.. cuddling/chilling.. may be weird. i walk nude all the time but i realized someone i know +

is very uncomfortable with the body so she thought me walking around naked was insane bc thats reserved for romance. and i just was like... dude... i dont care. at my core, i have such strong connections with some people and i’m realizing

it’s not weird to show that. what separates the acts is sexual intimacy. love and intimacy can exist in all types of relations, not just romantic but i can reserve the sexual energy for if i do want to progress the love into romance.. realizing all of this

just helped me feel so free and relieve the internal discord i’ve felt for so long. i’m realizing my intense love for others isn’t always romantic. it’s just intense love and that can exist and be expressed in friendships. i realized that the ONLY reason there’s such an

emphasis on romance.. the only reason is gets confusing.. the only reason it feels so intense.. is bc society has taught us to reserve ALL of our NATURALLY loving energy for one romantically sexual relationship. so ive reserved my love bc i associate intimate love with romance

and thats not it all. so ya, i am definitely a relationship anarchist and i realize that what will separate my relations is the level of depth and intimacy... not this idea that i’m searching for one person to give all my energy to.