Just when I think our gang of thug sparrows have chased away all other birds, this beauty shows up:

Oh crap! The local squirrel mafia just showed up!

Fucker.

This guy has yet to crack the squirrel-proof birdfeeder on the right, so yes, there are ways to outsmart them.

This is a fox squirrel, the largest squirrel in North America. This pic gives you a sense of how big his fuzzy butt is that's a 4"×4" pole he's on.

This dude does not give a fuck about anything as he watches the sparrows below fight over his scraps.

I'm thinking of adding a platform feeder just for him. I hate how he empties out this bird feeder so fast, but he is entertaining as hell to watch. My husband loves squirrels and encourages the shenanigans. Look at this. Fuzzy butt's basically hanging on with two toes.

He's gone. The sparrow gang has returned.

Damnit. Mafia Boss Tubby Butt is back. That's it. I'm getting him his own feeder.

I think I'm going to call this gang of sparrows "Birbs, Thugs, & Hominy."

...l'll see myself out.

Y'ALL...THERE IS A BABY FOX SQUIRREL!

Omg he's so cute!

And perhaps a wee bit evil...I mean...look at those eyes. He's up to something.

This little dude is now tapping on the glass. "DID YOU SEE THAT SQUIRREL, LADY?! WTF?!?!"

He's still in denial that I won't let him in. NO THUG SPARROWS IN THE HOUSE, BUDDY.

This just in: He may be a red squirrel! This is about to get intense. Fox squirrels are known to castrate other squirrel species that are in their territory.

For your entertainment:

This is new. One of the thug sparrows just stopped in for breakfast and apparently doesn't GAF that the big guy is going to town on the other feeder.

The squirrel just bounced after completely emptying the feeder.

"PEACE OUT, MOTHAFUCKAS!"

I just ordered this goofy squirrel feeder. You train them to lift the lid to grab nuts. I can't wait for this thing to arrive.

Did I ever tell you the story of when a family of 5 red squirrels broke into our house when I was 9+ months pregnant? Cuz that was an insane weekend.

Someone new came by today. I think it may be a house finch?

He just noticed me and gave me this look.

"S'up, human?"

Damnit. Big doofus here just scared away the new guy.

THIS JUST IN: I think we have a cabal. This squirrel just ran up to the deer and started talking. Then he ran away. WHAT DID HE SAY?

The deer are now acting all chill. WHAT ARE THE SQUIRRELS UP TO?!

More deer arrive.

Oh shit! I've been spotted! <runs away>

OMG THEY HAVE GATHERED TOGETHER AND ARE EYEING ME UP. Is...the one in the front about to break out into a dance? ARE WE ABOUT TO SEE A HUMAN-DEER THROWDOWN LIKE IN WESTSIDE STORY?!

It's like she's doing the cha-cha slide...

I built a temple and left an offering to appease the squirrel gods. Now we wait and see if this is acceptable to our squirrel overlords.

Success! This fox squirrel seems quite happy. This is also the longest our bird feeder has remained unmolested by these furry rodents. It has been two days since we last filled it, which has been a record since these furry beasts usually empty it in a day.

"Your offering is acceptable, peasant."

I FINALLY GOT A VIDEO OF THE SKITTISH TELEPORTING BIRD THAT KEEPS VISITING! I think this is a black-hatted chickadee? He dives in, snags some grub, and flies off faster than I can get my camera out!

I looked him up. Apparently black-hatted chickadees stay here all year round and can easily be tamed so they will eat out of your hand.

That is so not an activity I will be doing this Michigan winter, thank you. I've got enough of a Disney Princess thing going on as it is.

The house sparrow thugs are back.

Me: (looking them up) Huh. It says here that they are an invasive species.

Hubby: Oh?

Me: Apparently they are all descendants of a few that were released in New York Central Park in 1850.

Hubby: Sigh.

Me: Right? Fucking Victorians...

BTW, an exasperated sigh followed by a mumbled "fucking Victorians" is pretty much an evergreen tweet in humanities circles.

So today was a mixed bag of good (got to talk to amazing coworkers) and horrible (bad roof news), but then my all time favorite bird showed up: The American Mourning Dove! I took it as a sign not to just give up on life and become a hermit on an island.
(See lower right corner.)

This is not my pic, but here is what one of these doves look like. They were everywhere where I grew up and remind me of home and, like the dove that mates for life, that I have a good husband that loves me.

Ecologically speaking, doves are the chicken of North America. Seriously. Like, all sorts of predators eat these birds. I find just as many kill spots at a park as I do doves in the trees. I have no idea what this fact symbolically represents in my life, so I happily ignore it.

The red squirrel has rejected our squirrel food offering and continues to raid the bird feeder.

WHY ARE YOU TESTING ME?! AM I NOT THE PERFECT SERVANT TO MY SQUIRREL OVERLORDS?!

I just about had a heart attack! The fox squirrel showed up, but with a freaking flying leap that made him slam into the window. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GIANT SQUIRREL LEAP DIRECTLY AT YOU?! That scared the shit out of me.

This guy gets it. He's figured out where the good stuff is.

We have named him Gus. Overlord Gus.

BOW BEFORE YOUR KING, PATHETIC HUMANS.