Hey men, a thread for YOU about what YOU must do to crush sexism in our ranks. 1/

Story time: not more than ten years ago, a senior leader walked into a command post. Behind the RTO was a barely clad Maxim bikini model. “Niiiice!” He declared, getting a chuckle out of the all-male staff before sitting down to dive into the briefing.

We like to think these days are behind us— and in some aspects we have come a long way— but assuredly much work remains to build an Army team truly inclusive of women and based on mutual trust. I had my own sexist “aha!” moment a couple of years ago.

Walking down the street in D.C. a person in front of me falls flat on their face, unconscious. I rush to render aid. I’m checking for vitals and a woman comes running up and squats beside me. “Hi, are you a nurse?” I say. “Nope, I’m an ER Doctor” she says.

I wanted to crawl into the street drain and die. I’m raising a daughter. I’m married to a strong women. I’ve been on teams with women and *thought* I got it- but here, on a dirty street in Georgetown, I’m face to face with my own unconscious sexist bias.

Women are now allowed in every corner of our army because of *policy,* but remain vehemently shut out because of sexism and a culture where men are still afraid to speak up.

If you have any doubt about this, spend some time checking the comments on social media when a woman is praised for doing something *literally* for the first time in history. Most of the hateful comments are has-beens (thank god); but still-serving nimwits abound, online and IRL.

Or, *gasp,* you could actually talk to any serving woman and she will tell you. Sadly, THE MERE ACT OF SPEAKING to a woman is seen by some as the danger zone because they’ve been “scared by a SHARP briefing” or some senseless drivel.

As an aside: if you’re afraid of speaking to women because you might creep them out or get falsely accused of something, ask yourself first—are you a creep or a rapist? If yes, please absolutely don’t talk to them. If not, trust me, you have nothing to worry about.

So what is my point in all of this?! Men, ONLY YOU can stomp out sexism in our ranks. Women CANNOT do it alone. Your voice carries 10x the weight of theirs. When you correct a man for a sexist remark, it hits them in the soul like a sledgehammer.

If you’re a leader, it carries the weight of ten hammers and ripples throughout the team. Err on the side of doing it publicly, but professionally. Men must know it is unacceptable, and women must know you are serious about creating a safe space for them to thrive.

Sadly, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen a male leader correct a male subordinate for inappropriate comments. I’m not sure I’ve *ever* seen an instance of a male correcting a peer or superior.

Opportunities abound. Once you’re listening, sexist innuendo, comments, jabs, and gestures are swirling around us in a sharknado of microagressions. Reach in, grab one, and snap its neck.

This isn’t some hippy-dippy politically correct cancel culture Mumbo jumbo. Sexism is the fertile breeding ground for sexual harassment, which cultivates rape culture and enables sexual assault. All of these are no different than fratricide- which we would never allow.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out Jordan’s painful catalog of instances of sexism and sexual harassment she has *personally* experienced: https://twitter.com/MarchingWith7/status/1278512854119915522

It’s happening on the ramps of your Strykers, in your team rooms, in your PT formations. If you’re in denial, you need to know know it ain’t just a river in Egypt. If you don’t see it you’re not looking hard enough.

“She didn’t have to meet the same standards as us.” “Oh how cute, look at her struggle with that SAW.” Or more subtle, like “sir the boys are getting after it”— briefing the boss on a firing range with mixed gender. They’re everywhere.

Lastly, “normalizing” isn’t a strategy. You can’t just snap your fingers and make inclusivity happen because we changed a policy. We should- we must- celebrate the accomplishments of women as they smash through barriers not previously possible.

For the love of god, it is okay to give your woman teammates a high five (socially distant, of course) and let them know you are a true ally. You aren’t somehow emasculating the accomplishments of men. You’re letting women know that you’re serious about their value to the team.

Lastly men- we need your help to shout out the blatant sexists out there lurking in the shadows into the ground. Run them out of the army. We don’t need them. We will fight and win without them- only better- because we will do it with the strength and brilliance that women bring.

Abolish the woman-hater clubs. Watch them come into your spaces and thrive. Cheer them on and amplify their voices. Have the personal courage to look other men in the eye and say “NOT IN MY SQUAD!” Do your duty or go find another profession. /rant

p.s. I’d like to thank several remarkably awesome unnamed/ anonymous women of #Miltwitter to contributing to the thoughts in this thread.

Listen, speak, act.