One of the biggest privileges of being a minister - writing funeral tributes. Everyone deserves a biography.

Ten lessons I've learned:
1. People remember holidays far more than careers
2. People remember how your home made them welcome, not how much it was worth

3. People love remembering when you were daft
4. People remember relationships of long-term care
5. The memory of how you dealt with struggle is treated as sacred
6. If you listened, people don't forget
7. People remember how you were different, not how you fitted in

8. People remember what you created - meals, furniture, memories
9. People remember your passions - Daniel O'Donnell, bees, china cats
10. Good news - people don't usually get too upset about your faults, they often miss them.

I think the biggest blights on memory are unspoken injustices and unresolved estrangements.

-If you've not been fair, try to find a way of saying sorry.
-If there's a fallout, the long journey to forgiveness is worth making.
-Resist temptation to sweep under carpets.