Someone was saying some good things about emotional labor earlier, and I just want to tell you younger whores: we did not have to do *as much* emotional labor in The Olden Days, as we do now. In the arc of my career, that part of the job? Has increased very very dramatically.

We did used to be a lot more scared of being assaulted by clients. That was a much *more real* thing to us, when I first started doing sexworker. And frankly half the time, THEY were afraid we’d pull a gun on them or some shit. Lots of anxiety and trepidation - on both sides.

And then I feel like right around 2000, the emotional part of being a sex worker seemed like it kinda suddenly became way more important. Looking back, I think the reason was: that was around the time when most *clients* gained at least the ABILITY to talk TO EACH OTHER, online.

Before then, clients had no way to talk to other clients! Hell, FS indy sexworkers barely had any ways to talk to other SWers, but you did meet some people - tho not like now.

But when client started talking to each other about how they felt during the sessions? things changed.

But back when I started? No client ever talked to another client, at least not in the US, where most of us were operating indy or small groups. But even guys in strip clubs now don’t talk to other guys in strip clubs, about how they feel about the dance they are getting!

But the Internet gave people an anonymous way to talk about their feelings to strangers- to include sexual feelings, but certainly not limited to them. As anyone who’s ever read a review of herself that sounded like a love letter will tell you.

Back in the day, it was like clients lived on another planet from you. You never had any communication with them in between sessions. They didn’t know anything about what you did with your daily life, and you didn’t know anything about theirs. It was all just a MYSTERY?

What’s true is that I became *much less afraid* of being assaulted by a client, as the level of knowing and intimacy between us grew more constant and more genuine. And they seemed to feel the same way. It’s not to say that this isn’t ever tricky to manage, because - it is!

But I’ve thought about it a lot, and overall, I think this way is better. YES, I have met guys who abused the privilege. I’ll never forget the guy who decided that we were close enough to where he could just - drop by my place, unannounced. Oh he learned DIFFERENT. Firmly.

(If you are a client of mine NOW, I’m not talking about you. See, I would never had to say that in The Before Times. But: not you. Not any of you. That’s why you ARE one of my boys.)

One final remark: at first, I was frustrated when clients freaked out if I didn’t answer my cell or instantly reply to a text - until I realized: that’s how their employers are treating THEM. So that’s why they treat us like that. When I understood that, I was far less annoyed.