Through the years I have “adopted” many residents. I just pick ones I like and sometimes ones who seem to need adopting. 1/
We meet up and take the dog for a walk or I just text them and check in and we discuss the shit and psychological damage implicit in the process. 2/
What used to shock me is is how open most respondent were to an offer of human connection. I was afraid of people and wary of their weird motives.

Maybe because of that I come across as non-threatening. 3/
Or maybe most people are psychologically more normal than I was in my early 30’s... 4/
What surprises me now is this:

Many residents during the course of their training never once have a single instructor, attending or mentor who believes in them. 5/
I mean they never one single time have someone up the educational hierarchy say
- you’ve got talent
- I can see you I proving
- you are good at this
- you’ll make a great doctor
- it’s a good thing you were here today
- you saved her 6/
I know how it is on my side. You see so much wrong and there is so little time. So we correct and correct and notice little things wrongs and details out of place. 7/
Especially younger attending physicians see an error made by their resident as a reflection of their own inadequacy.

Instead of a necessary step in the super complicated taking-care-of-sick-people activity. 8/
I have to tell you, these resident in training are starving for a few words of affirmation. 9/
They don’t need to hear that they are the best doctor ever. Just a vote of confidence. “I started where you did. And I made it to here.” 10/
“I see how hard you are working and it’s paying dividends.” 11/
“I love you style. You do beautiful work.” 12/
“You handled that emergency better than I would have as a resident.” 13/
The point is not to lie. That doesn’t work at all. False praise is worse than none at all. The point is to ~notice~.

See what the resident is doing right and say, “You are doing right.” 14/
I’ve met residents who have never once heard these words. Hungry for words of encouragement. Starved for affirmation. 15/
It’s a desperate way to live. Dry and lonely. Always striving and never reaching the mark. Always training harder, never taking the tape at the finish line. 16/
So be free flowing with your compliments. Notice the successes in your learners. See where they are improving and how they are becoming doctors. Good doctors like the world needs more of.
17/17
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