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Piggy backing off a tweet I just interacted with, first dates are so fun and pure to me. Recently I went on one with someone I’ve been “talking” to for almost the whole year and I remember headed back to his place and I was elaaaaated because it was so nice and so comfortable for
me. Us having been friends for a relatively long time before going on the date helped a lot also. I remember driving back playing “Red Wine” by @KELLYROWLAND to just be able to verbalize my emotions and how I was feeling through her song. We did have a conversation of me wanting
to date him to see where things could go and we have both said that we are dating, but he’s weary of relationships. I get that 100% because who isn’t? I respect it, also, because not everyone is on the same wave length at the same time and I am definitely okay with courting him
But I am also trying to be very cognizant of my own emotions and how I choose to move forward with knowing how he feels about relationships. Currently, I feel slightly (mentally) stuck due to the fact that I don’t want to put all of my eggs in one basket out of fear of, once
again, putting forth so much effort into one person without reciprocity. So my constant internal conflict is, do I allow other people to enter into my life and have free range to potentially date someone else as well or do I try to stick it out??? I did, however,
meet up someone else and had a great time with them. I enjoy them as well, but I know in my head that I’m always reverting back to the other person wanting to see if things will work out with him. A couple of weeks ago I was just overthinking everything, but now I’m actually good
and just going with the flow of things. If it happens, it happens. If not, then I will be okay. And I think it’s all fair to me and for me.
I honestly think I’m the cutest. I pay so much attention to detail, I literally have a list in my notes of things this person likes so that I can give small thoughtful gifts/experiences as time progress and if it feels fit.
