The thing about being a driven, ambitious woman who dates men is that the thing you always think you want is — pardon the tired expression — a “partner in crime,” the plug to your socket in a power couple, so to speak.

And like, sometimes that happens!

SOMETIMES.

Because, lol, the chances of finding a dude who is on your level and also into you are slim, and then you have to contend with the reality that a *lot* of men on your level don’t want an equal, but a cheering section.

A more feasible solution is to find someone who is not as ambitious as you but content in that state, someone who loves supporting other people and wants to support *you*. This is nice work if you can get it, but it can also be fraught!

The problem *here* is that a lot of men only *think* they are okay dating a woman who outshines them. Eventually, many of them get jealous that their own ambitions aren’t rewarded in the same way hers are. Eventually, many of them end up wanting their own cheering section.

I was thinking about tweeting this thread earlier this morning, because I was thinking about all the exes who left me for duller, more boring people, as well as all the exes who eventually grew resentful and tantrumy about my success.

I probably sound more bitter than I actually am — this is more just intellectually interesting to me than emotionally painful. But I think it is just so cruel how women are encouraged to seek a life that is, more often than not, a mirage.

Also omg if I never have to deal with the wounded ego of a frustrated male artist again it will be too soon