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I think a lot of Asian kids have complicated relationships with their parents and there's a lot of nuance to be discussed in that realm, but I also wish there were more stories where Asian parents are present in their kid's life and... it's not a bad or negative presence?
In YA, Asian parents are either abusive and toxic or they are absent. I think the only time I've seen Asian parents that were supportive and great presences in the teen main character's life was SEVEN TEARS AT HIGH TIDE by C.B. Lee.
And I don't want to hear that it's not realistic for Asian parents to be both present and good. It's not a reality for everyone, yes, but good Asian parents do exist.
Example: My parents. They aren't perfect but I love having them in my life and they are good to me.
Example: My parents. They aren't perfect but I love having them in my life and they are good to me.
For instance:
- I've been really down lately (being made redundant lmao). My parents know this. My mum will spontaneously burst into my room and yells "HUG TIME" and she will hug me.
- My dad regularly buys me my favourite dessert (durian crepe cake) whenever he sees me sad.
- I've been really down lately (being made redundant lmao). My parents know this. My mum will spontaneously burst into my room and yells "HUG TIME" and she will hug me.
- My dad regularly buys me my favourite dessert (durian crepe cake) whenever he sees me sad.
I am glad that Asian writers are writing stories that are authentic to them. For some, it's exploring complicated relationships with their parents.
I just wish I saw more stories where Asian parents aren't always The Bad Guys and that their kids need to be liberated from them.
I just wish I saw more stories where Asian parents aren't always The Bad Guys and that their kids need to be liberated from them.
I also think that there's nuance to what 'good' vs 'bad' parenting looks like.
Cultural perspectives do shape what good vs bad looks like, and that's further complicated when viewed from a strictly Western lens (esp with how love ought to be expressed).
Cultural perspectives do shape what good vs bad looks like, and that's further complicated when viewed from a strictly Western lens (esp with how love ought to be expressed).
That cultural clash can be really tough for Asian diaspora kids. A lot of us grow up seeing how white parents interact with their kids; we compare and feel that cultural dissonance which can be hard to grapple with.
FLY ON THE WALL by Remy Lai explores this very well by the way!
FLY ON THE WALL by Remy Lai explores this very well by the way!
I'm back from driving and have a few more thoughts:
Asian writers, if writing messy child-parent relationships is what you know, that's valid and I'm not here to say you can't write them.
But also, please don't feel pressured to write Asian parents with this negative stereotype.
Asian writers, if writing messy child-parent relationships is what you know, that's valid and I'm not here to say you can't write them.
But also, please don't feel pressured to write Asian parents with this negative stereotype.
Also, it's interesting that child-parent relationships are significant in MG stories and are often depicted with nuance and are generally more supportive& positive.
And then in YA, all the Asian parents are one-dimensional stereotypes.
I'd love to see that same nuance in YA.
And then in YA, all the Asian parents are one-dimensional stereotypes.
I'd love to see that same nuance in YA.
