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It’s Labor Day and people are tweeting about their coming-of-age indie movie jobs, but I'd like to share a tale about a job I did as a grown-ass 35 year old man.
If you make it to the end of this thread, there’s a treat!
If you make it to the end of this thread, there’s a treat!
Back in 1999 I was a standup, finally getting a litttttle traction after 10+ yrs. I'd just been on Conan.
And I got offered a commercial.
It was for the Albany Times-Union newspaper, nicknamed “The Eagle.” They needed a spokesman, a face for the franchise. And they wanted me!
And I got offered a commercial.
It was for the Albany Times-Union newspaper, nicknamed “The Eagle.” They needed a spokesman, a face for the franchise. And they wanted me!
Yeah no it wasn’t great. Just a local commercial, not the pot of gold national ads can be. Still good stuff for my reel maybe? Plus my wife and I had a four month old baby, and we could use the $$.
And sure I’d be shooting Fri thru Sun, so I had to give up my weekend spots, which meant after paying for my own travel, I’d make only a little bit more than if I just stayed home. And they’d be able to run the ad forever with no residuals. Did I mention we had a baby?
I get to Albany, they hand me the script, then they hand me the costume. I’m sorry, what? Costume?
It was a full body eagle costume. Over the top bad. I am playing a character called "The Early Bird." And visually, not an eagle so much.
This was a damn chicken suit.
It was a full body eagle costume. Over the top bad. I am playing a character called "The Early Bird." And visually, not an eagle so much.
This was a damn chicken suit.
Well you know what? Silver lining of a mascot suit is nobody sees your face. Right?
Literally the only thing people could see was my face.
And people DID see my face... because for the next two days we went on location to seemingly *every* location in Albany to shoot this epic.
And people DID see my face... because for the next two days we went on location to seemingly *every* location in Albany to shoot this epic.
All weekend I just barged in, unannounced, to mini-marts & diners. For a soul-crushingly long time I walked around a very full mall.
The biggest problem was that they’d shoot me from a distance, which meant most people just saw a dude in a chicken suit WITH NO EXPLANATION
The biggest problem was that they’d shoot me from a distance, which meant most people just saw a dude in a chicken suit WITH NO EXPLANATION
There were insults. One I remember vividly was a dude who walked right up to my face and said “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”
He was probably about 12
Though I am proud that I never peed in the suit, I may have cried in it.
He was probably about 12
Though I am proud that I never peed in the suit, I may have cried in it.
Did I mention we had a baby?
Anyway the point of the story is this: fuck Albany. No. One point is that 3 months later, I was offered my first big writing job. So… hope?
A larger point is that all work is honorable, and my tough job tale doesn’t light a candle to tough jobs many people do on a daily basis.
A larger point is that all work is honorable, and my tough job tale doesn’t light a candle to tough jobs many people do on a daily basis.
But luckily, nobody in my circle of friends and colleagues or the public outside of Albany ever saw that commercial...
Until now
Happy Labor Day!
Until now
Happy Labor Day!
as a postcript honestly the worst thing is not the costume but my "commercial voice"
