The "gay men marrying straight women is misogyny" debate is is so shallow.

It is ignorant. It also reduces sexuality to black and white, and not the spectrum that it is. It is also blind to the violence of homophobia.

It is shallow because deep down many of you are homophobic

First of all, very few people are actually certain about their sexuality.

Many ppl think they're gay today, straight tomorrow, bi the next day and pansexual another day.

This means that catching your spouse with a man doesn't make him gay.

The gender your spouse is cheating with shouldn't matter more than the fact that he is cheating.

The only reason it matters more to you is because you are homophobic.

Address your homophobia. Unwrap it and address it.

Also educate yourself on sexuality.

Another thing is that NOBODY OWES YOU THEIR SEXUALITY.

It is desirable for a spouse to come out to you about their sexuality, BUT IT IS NOT NEEDFUL.

Sexuality is personal and it is absolutely the person's right to share it or not to share it with others.

Instead worry about whether they're committed to you or not.

Do you feel loved by them? Do they make you happy? That is what matters.

It is interesting that ppl who don't see the need for pride events and coming out are the same ones who want partners to come out to them.

Another thing that I find interesting is the rage against loveless marriages.

How many cishet Nigerian men give their cishet Nigerian wives love-filled marriages?

Most cishet marriages in Nigeria are loveless and crawling with cheating male spouses.

In this regard, gay men married to women are no different from cishet married to women.

Both sets of people are offering the women loveless relationships.

The only difference is your homophobia.

That is why you are more angry at the gay men than the cishet men.

The one thing many of you are refusing to admit is that CISHET WOMEN ARE ACTIVE PARTICIPANTS IN HOMOPHOBIA!

Being the victims of one oppressive system doesn't absolve you from being the perpetrator in another oppressive system.

It is not that difficult to get.

You understand that gay men have male privilege, but you somehow refuse to admit that your cishet-ness bestows on you privileges that gay men and sexual minorities in general do not possess.

You refuse to hold yourself accountable for the many ways you propagate said system.

You understand that women get married to survive, but you don't understand that gay men who live in a country that criminalises their existence get married for survival too.

You treat them as perpetrators even when you know that they are victims of the system themselves.

Gay men in straight marriages do not enjoy any more privileges than straight men in marriages do.

If anything, their lives become much harder.

Instead of marking and bullying them to absolutely no results, bully the system that puts them in that situation.

As long as homophobia exists, gay men will marry straight women.

Your outrage and rants won't change that.

The only thing that can change that is if homophobia is defeated.

The only way homophobia can be defeated is if patriarchy is defeated.

We are fighting a common enemy.