I'm gonna take you on a Zillow journey. ARE YOU READY.

Step inside, will you? (Listen, this place is only $125k for 5 bedrooms in Chicago, so...)

You might say it has a certain aesthetic.

Our tour continues...

It seems like the ground floor is all kind of one continuous parlor?

I really just admire the commitment to the theme.

But then, suddenly -- bam! -- here's the kitchen!

But DO NOT WORRY, we're back on trend in the dining room.

I'm actually genuinely in awe of this house, and I need someone to buy it and turn it into a writing retreat post-haste, please and thank you.