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SO the psych report from hospital come through...
Wouldn& #39;t it be amazing if we could write our own? So when they came to assess me I was half naked under a blanket as id been soaked by the rain, already feeling vulnerable all I wanted them to do was leave me. They saw me in a...
Wouldn& #39;t it be amazing if we could write our own? So when they came to assess me I was half naked under a blanket as id been soaked by the rain, already feeling vulnerable all I wanted them to do was leave me. They saw me in a...
cubicle, where everyone could hear every word. I was drowsy & TERRIFIED they were going to section me. It took every ounce of energy I had to lie to them, tell them I was okay, didnt need them & beg to go home. All I could think of was being handcuffed in the back of an...
ambulance being sent 200 miles away to London again (which happened before) My only way to escape psychiatry/section was to lie & say I made a mistake & I was feeling absolutely fine & safe. Luckily thats what they reported... but how awful is it you have to lie to the people...
who are & #39;there to help& #39; after a SU attempt through utter fear your going to be locked away. Thats not helpful or supportive. I told them outright they would NOT hospitalise me & she smirked. I did manage to get in about the medical model though, which she noted...
So I had a random lady & guy sit in an A&E cubicle with me for everyone to hear, I felt vulnerable as I was half naked with nurses pulling up my gown every 30mins to check heart monitor leads. I& #39;d just tried to take my life & was being threatened to be locked away in hospital...
of course I lied & told them I was safe. Because I knew I was safer with my thoughts & intentions than being trapped in psychiatry again. So I was discharged on condition I kept with @LeedsWCTS for support. Who have now dropped me and told me to come back when well 
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says a great deal when the services that pride themselves being there to support MH, & will prob post loads on #SuicidePreventionMonth make you terrified to the bone to speak openly about whats going on in your mind through fear of being drugged, locked away &sent miles from home
That feeling of utter dread, fear (of being hospitalised in psychiatry) is up there with the worse fears ever. I refused to see them but told I HAD to. I was literally shaking with fear - that is NOT a & #39;theraputic& #39; service
I initially outright refused to see the psych team. The doctor said that I couldn& #39;t refuse & he had to speak to someone higher. The absolute terror that ran through me, the thought of being trapped in psychiatry. That is NOT & #39;theraputic& #39;
So what would have helped that night? Space & time to come round, Id been unconscious hoping Id be dead. A safe place to talk. Having the dignity of being dressed. A space/opportunity to talk openly were I felt it would be mutal, not a rock box exercise & not threats of inpatient
