This thread really made me think. For me, it was one of those rare moments when the universe just slaps you in the face and shakes you awake. /1 https://twitter.com/notcapnamerica/status/1303039186568704001

Yesterday, I spent a glorious day in nature with my husband. Every moment was like water for a thirsty soul. /2

And then we watched “A River Runs Through It.” Perfectly lovely and wholesome film, but it dug under my skin and made me unfathomably sad. /3

I recognize now that the father/son dynamic in that movie is a perfectly drawn illustration of my relationship with my own father. He is a good and honest man—with flaws to be sure—but like the sons in this movie, we have never met on common ground for any length of time. /4

Not because we don’t love and accept each other, but because we were each taught—in ways both overt and subtle—to suppress our feelings at all costs. /5

In my head, I hear myself saying (wrt my daughter and my husband), “They need me to be strong and sure so they feel safe.” And I realize, that’s probably what my dad was taught too. It’s what a lot of us are taught about being a man. /6

This thread made me recognize the pattern. And maybe that’s the first step in breaking it. Thank you, Chris, for the opportunity to self-reflect. I’ve got some work to do. /end