this will be a thread of solid lines from Candace Against The Universe eventually but for now here's a header.

warning this will probably end up having spoilers

It's- it's... Well, I don't know what it is, but it's still here!

It tasted like lint.

...why were you tasting it?

Last time, we carved her face into Mt. Rushmore.

...hmm, let's do something more permanent this time!

Is this your house?

Yep. My house of pain.

I'm not sure this is the whole- wait, why do I have a guitar? *throws guitar offscreen*

PHINEAS, FERB, THERE ARE NO WAFFLES IN HEEEEERRREEEE!!!

Best case scenario? We're food.

That's your best case scenario??

But even if we got the whole gang together, it would still take at least a montage.

Aaaaand we're done.

Well, I guess I stand corrected, it only took a flip wipe!

Oh, here is one where we would have to sacrifice Buford to Giant Alien Robots!

What??

Yeah! Bring on the nerve gas puppies!

AAAH! Giant Robot! Quick, give him Buford!

(i'm well aware this is basically just me repeating the whole movie but there are SO many good lines)

(Also if you havent watched the movie yet you may wanna... can you mute individual threads? you may wanna do that)

Alright, I guess neither of us are aliens. But what's with your neck?

Wait, what's wrong with my neck?

Oh, so getting there by portal is astrologically impossible!

...you mean.. astronomically.

I don't- I don't have a "spaceship" per se, but I- but I do have
*cut to beholding*
My Galactic-Travel-Inator!

I'd rather have a device that makes things switch places with the nearest chicken and NOT need it, than need it and not have it.

I'm with him on that!

Says the guy bringing a CANOE into SPACE!

I guess in retrospect, you are the single WORST agent we could have sent on this mission!
Heh, alright.
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

So fun to be travelling into outer space with a bunch of kids who teleported into my house with No Adult Supervision.

No no no no no, I said "Escape the Ship."

*playing "Cape Lip" by lil' Gorbinox*

...On second thought, this is exactly like the one we have at home.

Computer, launch the escape pod!

*Launching all escape pods*

No no no Stop! Stop! Stop stop stop!

*Playing "Chop Chop Chop" by The Lumberzacks*

Hey, I don't come down to where you work and tell you how to sell cupcakes.

My right or your right?

WE'RE FACING THE SAME DIRECTION!

*This is the song of the unsung hero, 'though I guess technically now he's got a song, 'cause I'm singing it*

Well that was SO much easier than I thought it was gonna be!

*Perry collapses from exhaustion and relief out of sight*

What good are escape pods if they take you TO the planet you're trying to escape FROM?

You're about to meet her, our glorious leader, you're about to meet her riiiight-
-after we open these doors, but first another chorus"

I mean, it's not Eegblat or Boat Jelly, but it's a name you hear.

Oh, sorry. It's just, in our language, "candace" is the noise someone makes when they explode from the waist up.

Just to be super extra clear, this saving the world thing doesn't involve offering me as a human sacrifice?

Well, somebody's paranoid.

I grew up with annoying little brothers too! Always hodening their zurgnats in the vlamborshall during glabenstchturn.

My brothers once made a roller coaster.

Roller coaster? Okay, now you're just making up words.

Well, I'm sure the writers of Space Adventure have a better grasp of astrophysics than YOU.
...or even me, because I do not see how the science would work either.

That planet we're plummeting towards is Feebla-Oot. So we're crashing right on target!

So, should we be worried that thing's gonna fall back down on us?

Nope, he is in orbit.
He must have achieved exit velocity. Good for him.

We're not getting anywhere with this spaceship!

It's an INATOR!

Stapler Fist there is my toughest guard, but boy if he doesn't give the finest foot massage on Feebla-Oot.

Aw geeze, he just candaced all over me.

Birthdays here are a bloodbath.

Waaaaiit a minute... what's a "klick?" And who put you in charge, young lady? I'm the grown up!

just the whole adulting song. it's so good but I'm not gonna copy the lyrics over.

But have you got one of THESE?

...that's a library card. And yes, I do.

And therefore, I, the adult, say... this way, people, single file-
*falls down a cliff screaming*

So we all agree that we've passed this spot somewhere between once and not more than, like, eleven times, right?

*collectively* YES.

thanks to my handy Chicken-Replace-Inator, which SOME people said I shouldn't bring, it switched places with the nearest chicken.

Wherever that is.

My support group says you're keeping me down.

Oh my spleen! Ow!

Candace, would you do me the honour...
of singing a power ballad with me?

Oh, Super Super Big Doctor, these are my brothers. Et cetera.
I have no idea who this is.

I'm looking for my daughter, Vanessa.
Wears black, does this a lot:
*puts hand on hip, rolls eyes slowly* Daaaaaaaaad.

Oh, well, that's neat. Chosen for.. what, exactly?

(im gonna continue this tomorrow it turned into bedtime)

(oh wow look it's tomorrow and definitely not like ... half a week later)

Do you see this patch? Pray you NEVER find out what it's for.

Oh I do have a... uh... funnel related question?

Oh we don't need a reason. We're afraid of a lot of things.

*see below list bc i've typed this out already

You have such a lovely way with words, so use diplomacy.

All right. Well thank goodness we're okay.

*slowest gentlest chomp ever*

Oh. Yeah, maybe not now.

this isn't a quote but we need to appreciate the canoe. it's just...

the dedication

An old dark cave. You must be very proud.

Oh, this is just the cave entrance to the city of- ugh. Borthos, every time you bring someone here you do this too soon!

No, Garnoz, we did not hide or cower or stand still.
Although Brizack over there is an excellent example of cubism.

We would love to help you, but we really can't.

We're cowards.

She was also green and very controlling.

We are called The Cowards. In our language, it means "coward."

Ha ha! Our shuttles are notoriously hard to fly. Bad design, really.

Hey, stop! Get away from that hover bike!

...Any chance those are hard to fly?

A child could fly it, Your Highness.

I need new episodes of Clown and Mailman!

just.. the WHOLE bit with the floating treadmill. solid bit, well worth the time spent on it.

Controls are stupid. I'm not stupid.

You LIED to us! Through SONG! An art form that's supposed to connect people through sincerity of emotion!

(also ferb is not wearing the body armour he brought earlier and that's a real shame.)

(borthos is my fursona)

Wait have you been following me? All the way from Earth? Keeping me safe like a fuzzy little teal guardian ang- AAAAAAAGH

You mean your spaceship?

....
Yes, I mean my spaceship.

Well, we're going to need a bigger litterbox.

(so uh... going backwards through the stages of animation is just... amazing, love it, it's my favourite scene I think, actually.)

(this is what being permanently distracted feels like)

So as long as this chicken is here, we won't be able to-
Waaait a minute, accidents can happen.

In Space Adventure, it is always the leftmost button.

Baljeet WAIT-

*hatch opens, everyone is sucked out into the upper atmosphere*

*tries to break dvd set over knee, fails, starts pulling out individual discs and snapping them in half*

I don't have a patch for surviving a fall because of the false science of a CANCELLED TV SHOW

You made another boat? What have I been lugging this one around for?

watching roger be so distraught is rlly cathartic idk so just the whole scene of him screaming in agony here is good

Heyyyyyy, is that an alien spaceship?

Eat cancelled TV show!

I bet that sounded better in your head.

It did not.

Ooohhh noooo, what are we gonna- Thermal cannon.

There's an alien invasion??!!

Yeah yeah, I'll make you a patch.

This is the worst pain I've ever felt! Oh, I can't believe you did this to me! *screaming* IT'S SO MUCH WORSE UNDERNEATH!!

You got me a coffee mug?
AND I DON'T EVEN DRINK COFFEE, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!

Hey, Shoe-Monkey! How 'bout a FREE T-SHIRT?

Jeremy, is this cosplay?

My personal space! MY PERSONAL SPACE!

vanessa therapy corner callback

Listen to me!

Yes?

You do not have to listen to me!

I'm confused.

Well, that victory was short-lived!

V̷͔͐l̸̙̀o̶̙͐r̵̺̉k̴̠͑ḛ̶̿ḽ̶̑.̸̟̿ ̸͙̆V̵̥͊l̷̬͝ô̶̺r̴̳̎k̶̳͂ĕ̴͎ḽ̶̉.̷̈ͅ ̵͈̏V̴̺́l̵͇͘o̴̺̚r̶̭͒k̶̪͠ë̵̜́ĺ̵̝.̴̪̋ ̶̞̐V̸̜͊l̷͍̓õ̸͈r̵̦͝ǩ̷̪e̶͚̍l̴͙̒.̸̹͐ ̴͓̉V̶̹͗l̵̘̇o̷̜̒r̵͇̈k̵̳̐e̶̔ͅl̴̫͐.̷̅͜

Well, that's disturbing.

I know, right?

Woah Mama!

(this is underrated, peak comedy)

Grim Arboreal Death! If we do not stop that thing!

WHY is there a petting zoo downtown?

Yay! My petition worked!

All the busting dominos will finally fall.

Where's Mom going?

She's getting us pizza.

Sweet!

It's amazing how an afternoon of blasting aliens, foiling villains, and sipping smoothies can really change your perspective.

Let's take this time to thank the folks
Who work on all this animation!

perry needs a watch muffler

the entirety of the Silhouettes deserves some notice too, but I'm gonna finally call this thread done.
Sorry for spamming, but not really, this movie lives in my head rent free, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

okay i hadn't given this line much thought but I have watched this movie 13 times now