the number of people i've seen who have said "criticism at a key point really hurt my will to write" has been making me think about like, the role of crit at different stages in the process & the importance of an environment of trust & respect for critique?

ime writing seems to have multiple phases, & while the story is still being made, critique of flaws often appears to be demotivating, especially if it's unsolicited. it seems like pointing out good things & making problem-solving suggestions, if asked, help more?

i'd guess that's related to "writing vs editing" brain. not everyone has that? but many ppl seem to have writing mode (creation/generation) vs editing mode (finding/correcting/DESTRUCTION!) & i'm guessing premature critique flips ppl to a brainmode too critical to create

i've noticed writers are also sensitive to negative feedback from the first person they show a work after it's done. i wonder if that's bc the question they're asking isn't "how good is it?" but "is there anything worthwhile in it?" & criticism, poorly given, answers q2 w/ 'no'

everyone knows the one person in a room you can't see is yourself. this is probably vulnerable as a moment of first exposure. you don't know if the writing has any worth, you're inside it. so you ask for someone outside to tell you if there's anything worth working to make better

after that it's just helpful crit vs unhelpful crit. i think that ppl can learn even unhelpful crit, but HOPEFULLY at the pre-posting stage, writers are going to people they trust who know how to point out what works for them & give suggestions for what doesn't

i feel like ppl say 'pointing out the good is just being nice,' but imo it's also extremely useful to say what DOES work, or else ppl may tear apart the bits that are what holds a thing together. critique as a second pair of eyes ALSO points out what should STAY

one thing i've tried to do lately whenever someone hands me smth to beta is ask what kind of feedback they're looking for. ime even trying to give feedback on sentences, when someone is trying to focus on story beats, can throw off their groove?

a response to this might be 'writers need to know how to take all kinds of feedback' & yeah, when you're late in the PUBLISHING process maybe, but like. i beta bc i want to help friends, & part of helping is asking what THEY need, not what /I/ want to give. im not doing it for me

anyway just some thoughts i've been having. ig i just wanna hold my friends & be like, "sometimes, people are just bad at giving feedback. that's them being bad at betaing, not you being bad at writing." all writing needs improvement & not everyone is good at helping w/ that

(which btw obv betaing is also a skill that needs to be learned & can improve from feedback too. bc... most things are skills that can be learned & improved from feedback. sweet!)