Trump begins his Labor Day news conference by botching reading the word "projecting"

Watch this clip while reminding yourself that the unemployment rate has nearly doubled since Trump took office. He's peeing on your shoes and telling you it's raining.

And now Trump is using the White House portico as a forum for a campaign speech

"He wants to have things lit up with wind" -- Trump on Biden's energy policies

If a guy at the bar ranted at you like this, you'd quietly try to slide down to the next stool as quickly as possible

nobody:

not a single soul:

Trump:

Trump argues that the World Trade Organization should classify the US as a developing nation because ... [checks notes] ... people are protesting in Portland

Trump's big oppo dump is hitting Biden for saying hopeful things about China in 2000

Trump refers to H1N1 as "the swine"

"I do not want them to build a military like they are building right now" -- this is as bellicose as I've heard Trump be about China

Trump demands that @jeffmason1 take off his mask before he takes a question from him

Trump demands credit for not ruining John McCain's funeral

"Only an animal would say things like that" -- Trump denies reports he disparaged fallen US troops

Trump is talking about protesters throwing cans of soup again

"I know my customers, that's what I do" -- Trump bizarrely refers to Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer as his "customers"

"If this were the opposite way, they would've been in jail already" -- Trump suggests Obama and Biden should spend 50 years in prison for treason

"Take a look at Carolyn Maloney, whose race should be redone" -- Trump demands that an election be redone because it took a few weeks to tally mail ballots (file this away for November)

Trump plays dumb about a report that Louis DeJoy broke campaign finance law

"Friends of mine have said, sophisticated friends have said, you've got to be the most innocent guy ever to hold this office" -- Trump seems to really believe he's the most innocent person to ever serve as president

"The faster, the better" -- Trump on a coronavirus vaccine

"You sound so clear, as opposed to everybody else where they refuse" -- Trump praises a reporter for not wearing a mask

Trump closes the news conference by claiming "I am not a believer in cancel culture" in the context of ranting about why he wants "The 1619 Project" to be canceled

"It was ended b/c of terrible weather... [the Secret Service] came out very strongly & said, 'sir, can't allow you to make this trip.' If I wanted to. 'Sir, we can't allow you, from a safety standpoint'" - Trump denies reports he elected not to visit a military cemetery in France