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*Picks up random high fantasy novel*
*Paraphrasing a little*
Sword Swordersson, swordsman of the Sword Tribe, drew his sword and held it aloft. Its tip was as pointy as his honour, its blade as slicey as his duty, its hilt as hilty as his loyalty.
In the valley, spearmen of...
*Paraphrasing a little*
Sword Swordersson, swordsman of the Sword Tribe, drew his sword and held it aloft. Its tip was as pointy as his honour, its blade as slicey as his duty, its hilt as hilty as his loyalty.
In the valley, spearmen of...
"What is this magic?" he said, questioningly.
"It is magic," said the hot witch, smiling seductively, stirring her cauldron salaciously.
"Magic!" quoth Sword mightily. Could it be? Had he truly stumbled upon the most legendary of plot devices? "Have you more?"
"Pots of it," sa...
"It is magic," said the hot witch, smiling seductively, stirring her cauldron salaciously.
"Magic!" quoth Sword mightily. Could it be? Had he truly stumbled upon the most legendary of plot devices? "Have you more?"
"Pots of it," sa...
"Heh," said the Dark Lord on his dark throne of dark stone in his dark castle at the heart of a dark land from whence he commanded his dark armies like a dark spider in the centre of a vast dark web, woven from darkness. "I'm also a bit gay."
"Then you must be destroyed," said...
"Then you must be destroyed," said...
"To defeat the Dark Lord, you will require the perfect sword," said the swordwright.
"You're right, wright," said Sword, "my sword is rubbish," and he cast it aside.
"To create the perfect weapon, you must quest far..."
Sword picked up his sword again. "I was a bit presumptuo..."
"You're right, wright," said Sword, "my sword is rubbish," and he cast it aside.
"To create the perfect weapon, you must quest far..."
Sword picked up his sword again. "I was a bit presumptuo..."
"You're not really going to fight dressed like that?" demanded Sword, manfully.
In answer, the Dark Lord shrugged off his high collared robes to reveal himself naked to the waist, lightly oiled, and wearing tight leather trousers.
"Your evil ends now!" roared Sword the Swordsm...
In answer, the Dark Lord shrugged off his high collared robes to reveal himself naked to the waist, lightly oiled, and wearing tight leather trousers.
"Your evil ends now!" roared Sword the Swordsm...
"You think you've won, you fool?" snarled the Dark Lord as he coughed up his dark blood.
"Yes?"
"Look at the page count!"
To his horror, Sword saw another 200 pages to go.
"You've fulfilled the prophecy!" Wings erupted, skin bescaled, fangs extended. "I'M A MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON!"
"Yes?"
"Look at the page count!"
To his horror, Sword saw another 200 pages to go.
"You've fulfilled the prophecy!" Wings erupted, skin bescaled, fangs extended. "I'M A MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON!"
"Try to remember," said the hot witch, sexily exasperated, "on the quest, did you meet a wise man who told you this dragon prophecy?"
"No. Only a demon, which I smote."
"A..?"
"Disguised as an old man."
"When you say 'smote'..."
"Stone dead."
"You utter bozo," she sighed, sauc...
"No. Only a demon, which I smote."
"A..?"
"Disguised as an old man."
"When you say 'smote'..."
"Stone dead."
"You utter bozo," she sighed, sauc...
"Hail, fellow, and whimsically met," cried Sword to the man perched up a tree, naked but for a lute. "You're sidekick material, meseemeth."
"I am but a humble bard, sir, harassed by ruffians for tarrying with their wives..."
"Hie thee dow..."
"...and livestock."
"Actually, stay."
"I am but a humble bard, sir, harassed by ruffians for tarrying with their wives..."
"Hie thee dow..."
"...and livestock."
"Actually, stay."
