Right so... We all know that "transmisogyny" is a term for the specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny that trans women and transfems face.

But let's talk about misogyny and trans men for a second.

Trans men absolutely do experience misogyny. Obviously when we're growing up, we experience all the same misogyny as cis girls do.

That's not to say that trans women experience the same upbringing as cis boys - you can't treat trans men as the direct opposite of trans women.

And I think there's an obvious reason for thisthe patriarchy

Closeted trans girls are viewed as a failure of the patriarchy and punished for it, so they don't get male privilege.

Closeted trans boys are seen as girls trying to rise about their station and punished for it.

So trans boys experience misogyny growing up. Trans girls experience transmisogyny growing up. Nonbinary people may experience either or both and may also have other experiences because there's no one way to be nonbinary. We all experience homophobia because we're read as GNC.

After trans men come out though, there's still misogyny. Coming out as nonbinary or as a trans man doesn't make people magically see you for who you are or stop treating you badly.

Sometimes it might be because we're not out in that space or we're not passing (I'll talk more about that later) or we're being read as women.

I've seen that referred to as "misdirected misogyny" and I think that's a useful term but only in some contexts.

The idea being that while it is definitely misogyny and definitely harmful, it's being directed at you because they think you're someone that you're not.

A lot of the misogyny that I experience is this specific kind.

Now everyone will probably have their own perspective on exactly what comes under the term "misdirected misogyny" but to me, it's anything where the person doesn't know you're trans and just thinks you're a woman.

But "misdirected misogyny" doesn't work for everything. And that's because, there are some instances where misogyny is directed at us precisely because they know that we're trans men.

Not in spite of our identity, but because of it.

It's stuff like TERFs treating us like poor confused lost little girls who can't possibly understand what we need or want for ourselves.

Or sexual harassment around being a man with tits or a vagina.

There are hundreds of examples of this.

People sometimes say "well that's just transphobia. They're doing that to you because they don't see you as a real man."

And like I guess?? Sometimes that's the case??

But there's also definitely misogyny in there. It's so rooted in that that you can't just seperate it.

I've seen people talk about the relative invisibility of trans men in the media as if it protects us. Which it can do - we're less likely to face violence in the street.

CW: rape/abuse

But we face incredibly high rates of sexual assault, rape, familial abuse and intimate partner violence (just like trans women do).

Part of that is because of the invisibility. It stops us from having the access to community we need to protect us.

CW: rape/murder

And part of it, is misogyny. We all know the film "Boys Don't Cry." Do they think they would have raped and killed Brandon if not for the fact their combined transphobia and misogyny made them want to emasculate and humiliate him?

And then we have institutional misogyny. This is stuff like being denied access to hysterectomy or birth control or abortion.

Of course, those things are targeted at women and controlling cis women's reproductive health but it impacts trans men and AFAB nonbinary folks too.

(Trans women also face many barriers in reproductive healthcare, I have not forgotten that! It's just not what this thread is about.)

When misogyny becomes law, there is absolutely zero distinction protecting trans men or nonbinary folks. So how can you tell us that we don't experience misogyny?

So... What about "male privilege" then? Can we access that? Maybe nonbinary folks can't but can trans men? If we do does that cancel out the misogyny we face?

Again, the answer is nuanced. A trans man could access privilege if he passes all the time and chooses to go stealth.

But it's conditional on him not being open about transness. It's conditional on him being able to continue meeting the toxic standards of passing.

Most of us never have that opportunity. We don't pass that well or can't be stealth so we get this flip flop between privilege and misogyny depending on how we're read.

It's exhausting. I find myself constantly alert - am I passing today? Is it safe for me to do this today?

That's not to say that toxic masculinity doesn't exist in our community. It does. We're just as capable of being toxic or misogynistic as any other man and that's something we need to fight, within ourselves and our community.

But it's not the same as inherent privilege.

I do think it would be helpful and important for there to be a word trans men can use to describe these issues.

Some people have tried "transmisogny" for this but while I understand why (it's also an intersection of transphobia and misogyny) I don't think that's a good idea.

Trans women deserve the language to describe their own specific issues and using transmisogny for all trans people prevents that.

I've also seen "transmisandry" used but that implies that "misandry" exists.

I don't know what the answer is, but a term would be helpful.

I've been trying to script a YouTube video about this for a long time and I'm sure I'll make it at some point, but it's a very very complicated and nuanced issue.

Please just know, it's not as simple as "you're a man so you don't experience misogyny."