nobody:

authors: THERE’S A COVER SHAPED THING IN MY INBOX

nobody:

authors: YOU’RE NOT READY FOR X*

X* something we are all absolutely ready for

nobody:

authors: I might or might not have news to share soon like around noon watch this space

nobody:

friends of authors who already knew the news once it’s announced: FINALLY I’m so happy everyone else gets to celebrate this news (which i already obviously knew)

nobody:

authors: ok pals Im taking a lil break from twitter I’ll be back soon take care *puts on hiatus in profile name*

authors ten seconds later:

nobody:

authors: this book has -
Enemies to lovers
There’s only one bed
Gay
grumpy 1 & sunshine 1
Stabby girls
a hot grandpa

nobody:

authors: my little book

nobody:

authors who specifically asked their friend who is a goodreads librarian to add their book to goodreads: omg WHAT???? my book is already on goodreads??? how??? you are all so fast Anyway here’s the link

nobody:

authors holding a knife in a very unsafe way: ok im unboxing my BABY my lil book and... I ...said I wasn’t gonna cry, I said *chokes up* it’s real omg

nobody:

authors: TODAY is the day! I’ve been waiting for this since I was 4 months old and my book Bread of Butter and Quarantine is finally out!! Young me, we did it!!! Please go buy my book!!!!
*doesn’t include buy link*

nobody:

authors: I’m SORRY I’m doing so much self promo but my book comes out tomorrow I’m SORRY about that too ugh I know this is annoying but haha can you pls just preorder my book? I have $2 in my bank account I’m sorry omg I’m so annoying pls tho?

nobody:

authors: can you vote in my poll about if preorders are worth it?

can you vote in my poll about what preorder swag you want?

can you vote in my poll about what you think my personality is?????? Pls on the last one I don’t know

I’m authors

Think about the fact that you can screenshot or QT these and use them “ironically” for your announcements now. You’re welcome ???