A gay father posted this on Reddit, and it has been heavy on my mind. His sorrow is palpable, and his anger is justified. But I find it harrowing, because I understand the choices he made. I know many gay men contemplate these decisions every day. It’s a losing battle.

I’m in my 20’s and even now, I feel anger. Certainly not to the degree this man does, but it’s there. He threw himself into his work in an attempt to find meaning since he couldn’t be himself. But it wasn’t a substitute, nothing is ever a substitute for the lost years.

Do gay men ever stop mourning? It’s bad enough our lives are inherently difficult, but watching the younger generations have an easier time feels like throwing salt in the wound. Progress shouldn’t come at the expense of gay men losing the best years of their lives.

How do you balance being happy younger generations are getting to live openly, and being enraged you yourself could not?

This is the situation I never want to find myself in. I do not want to live my life pouring myself into my professional career, trying to be the best friend, the best uncle etc...just to be mentally and emotionally eviscerated one day because I never got to be me.

That’s not a life worth living.