Is that… a wild Bunji threadfic!?

Once again, Wei Ying has been thrown out of his class for insolence. Psh. Or more likely because his teacher can’t live with a wounded pride. Why can’t they accept that they might be wrong, sometimes? But whatever.

Wei Ying is content to stroll freely on the school ground while everybody is stuck on their chair. A bit of fresh air can’t hurt. He was already in a bad mood in the first place because he didn’t see Lan Zhan. That’s weird, by the way.

Lan Zhan is always punctual and never missed school. And, of course, Wei Ying can’t contact him to ask if he’s okay since he doesn’t have his phone number. Their friendship hasn’t reached that stage yet. But soon! Wei Ying is dedicated to becoming Lan Zhan’s best friend.

He’s thinking of other ways to annoy his classmate when he hears a strange noise followed by someone shouting:

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, gnngnngnn. Stupid bastard. Who do you think you are, uh!?”

Wei Ying frowns. Here he’s thinking about Lan Zhan and somebody is calling his name. Anyway, that voice doesn’t sound nice at all. Wei Ying decides to go see what’s the deal with that person and discovers soon enough a young man holding a rabbit by the ears.

Wei Ying rushes to them, anger rising.

“Hey, what are you doing!?”

The stranger is surprised by Wei Ying’s arrival and drops the rabbit before running away. Wei Ying is quick to catch the poor animal before it can hit the ground. What kind of monster would do that, seriously?

He didn’t recognize that man, but he swears that he will find him and … do something.
Before that, Wei Ying cradles the trembling form of the rabbit and tries to soothe him.

“There, there. That’s okay. The bad man is gone, Wei Ying will take care of you.”

Wei Ying sits on the ground he has thrown himself to and pets the rabbit until it calms down. He can sense the frantic beating of its heart and that doesn’t settle his own rage boiling in him. He breathes, aware that if he’s not calm, the rabbit will never recover.

He doesn’t know how long he stayed still, cooing to the rabbit and petting it, but it works in the end. The rabbit begins to munch at his hoodie sleeve and Wei Ying laughs. He takes the rabbit closer to his face and looks at him adoringly.

It’s white and fluffy, with big eyes sporting a golden color. It seems bored, that’s so funny.

“You’re so cute, you look exactly like…”

A familiar beautiful face overlays on that of the rabbit suddenly. Wei Ying gasps with the realization and everything that happened plays in his head. The man being mean to the rabbit, calling Lan Zhan’s name. Lan Zhan not being at school today…

“Wait. Lan Zhan? Is that you?”

The rabbit just scrunches its nose.

“Fuck.”

Well, yeah. Lan Zhan can’t answer him in this form, how can Wei Ying be so dumb? And oh, now he realizes he has petted Lan Zhan very casually and his classmate let him! Lan Zhan must have been very traumatized.

Or maybe the curse is that strong that Lan Zhan can’t act like himself with his rabbit’s instincts.
In any case, that’s terrible. Wei Ying was already hating that man, but now it’s even worse.

“We need to fix this.”

And what’s a better place to do this than… the library.

So Wei Ying hides Lan Zhan under his large hoodie, apologizing, and goes. When he arrives, he looks into his clothing to check on Lan Zhan.

He seems content in the warmth of his hoodie, so maybe Wei Ying will not die when he will turn back.

“Stay put, Lan Zhan, okay?” He whispers before entering the library. “If you’re discovered, we’re in for troubles.”

The rabbit gives him an unimpressed look, and Wei Ying takes the message. Yes, yes, the one most likely to get them into trouble is him. But seriously! He gives Lan Zhan a last pat and steps into the library, startling the librarian.

“What are y… Ah. Nevermind.” They says when they recognizes him.

Wei Ying offers a big smile to them and salutes cheekily before getting to a computer station where he wouldn’t be easily spotted.

He throws a glance to his right and left before freeing Lan Zhan from his prison of clothes. That couldn’t be comfortable, right? Lan Zhan acknowledges his surroundings by sniffing the air, but Wei Ying doesn’t have the time to marvel over his cuteness.

He has serious research to do.
So, he opens a browser and types ‘my bff is a rabbit what can I do to turn him back’.
What he finds at first is not satisfying. He’s obliged to change his tactic with more accurate keywords.

In the end, he reads a lot of weird articles about people thinking they’re rabbits, some pages about fairy tales stories, but nothing very helpful. But nevermind that, Wei Ying is always ready for a challenge. He still has read some things that gave him some ideas. Among them…

“A true love kiss, hu.”

Wei Ying shakes his head violently. Nonononono! He can’t kiss Lan Zhan like that. He… he doesn’t even love him! … Or does he. Hu.

Yes, that’s true every time he sees Lan Zhan he’s utterly happy. He loves to bother him, makes him look at him, and reacts to him.

He might have felt jealous when Luo Qingyang got to be Lan Zhan’s project partner earlier this year, but he discovered she couldn’t be a threat since she’s very happy with her girlfriend.

Then Wei Ying remembers his gloomy mood this morning when he saw that Lan Zhan wasn’t here. How he was subject to killing intents when he realized that the rabbit was Lan Zhan, cursed by a stupid rando. Yep, so, maybe… maybe he has a crush.

Maybe he wants to take Lan Zhan’s hand and tug him to the cafeteria. They could share their chocolate puddings. Or Lan Zhan could give his to him. He would then whip his face gently with a handkerchief because Wei Ying is a messy eater.

And Wei Ying would have done it on purpose just to feel Lan Zhan touching his facehvenjzocqdx

Welp. Shut up fantasies.

Lan Zhan and he are not even friends right now! He hates him because Wei Ying is… Well. Wei Ying. So, no, they can’t kiss. A true love kiss can’t work if it’s not mutual, right? He’s not sure, but he doesn’t want to risk it. He has other things to test, anyway.

All the other things didn’t work at all.

Wei Ying took Lan Zhan with him. His class has already ended and the next was about to begin but he couldn’t just leave Lan Zhan alone! He ignored Jiang Cheng’s texts and hid somewhere for his experiments.

But in the end, Lan Zhan is still a bunny. Oblivious of Wei Ying’s despair.
Wei Ying was certain that the dance to the gods would have worked for sure!
He takes Lan Zhan gently in his hands, flushed by all his efforts and what he’s going to do.

“Last resort, then.”

*chu*

Wei Ying blinks, the rabbit does the same.

“Ah, of course it didn’t work.”

And that stings more than it should.

The wave of sadness is washed by a wave of determination. Attempt the impossible! Wei Ying can’t possibly give up that easily! Maybe he can seek help with the Wens.

Granny Wen is so old, she must know some tricks. Wen Qing aims to be a doctor, Wen Ning is always very helpful, and just seeing Wen Yuan will cheer him up.
Anyway…

“Lan Zhan, I promise I’ll find another solution. I miss you so much, even if you’re just right here. I miss when you glare at me, your rabbit glaring is not the same without your beautiful face.”

“You’re still cute though, of course, no offense. Anyway, just you being here and being you is what I miss. I still want to be your friend, you know? It’s my number one priority. And then… then maybe we could be more…”

A sudden noise behind him stops his heartfelt ramble and Wei Ying nearly drops Lan Zhan. Thanks to his high reflexes, the rabbit is still safe under his grip.

But Wei Ying turns his head to see the source of the commotion and is shocked by the person frozen into place who found him hiding.

“…”

They’re silent for a moment. And then Wei Ying cries.

“LAN ZHAN!?”

Yes. It can only be him. Standing there with an odd expression, a little paler than usual. What. What. What. Wei Ying turns to the rabbit… the rabbit who is really just a rabbit.

“You lied to me.” He shout-whispers to Not-Lan Zhan, feeling utterly betrayed. He lets it be in the grass and stands to face Lan Zhan. He’s truly there, looking at Wei Ying with his beautiful face and aaah. Since when was he here? What did he hear?

Wei Ying decides to play it cool nevertheless. Yep. Cool, cool, cool.
He buries his hands in his hoodie pocket and walks nonchalantly towards Lan Zhan.

“Ha ha ha. Lan Zhan, that’s a funny story. You weren’t there, and then I saw that guy martyrizing a poor rabbit and calling your name, so I connected the dots. Or thought I did. Wow, I’m so dumb! ANYWAY! How come you’re here? Where were you?”

“Did you… did you just skip class because you wanted to? You criminal! I’m so proud.”

The slander seems to wake Lan Zhan of his torpor. He straightens up like the simple idea of him skipping class purposely was a great offense.

“I was sick. I’m feeling better and wanted to discuss what I missed with the teachers.” Lan Zhan says and, oh, Wei Ying is so happy to hear his voice he might cry. Might.

“Of course, of course. Well, that’s cool. Let’s go, then. Oh, do you want to adopt a rabbit, by chance? I don’t think Aunt Yu will be thrilled by that little fella.”

The truth is that he couldn’t possibly look at it without feeling utterly ashamed either. But…

“You.”

“Me?” Wei Ying bats his eyelashes because he’s shameless and that helps him to cope.

“You thought I was the rabbit.”

Well…

“Lan Zhan, ah! I was so worried it didn’t seem strange to me that you could be cursed. You know what? You should just give me your number already, so that kind of misunderstanding will never happen again.”

Wei Ying makes grabby-hands to Lan Zhan but his classmate doesn’t move. There’s a line between his brows.

“You were worried?”

Why is he stuck to that particular part!?

“Didn’t you hear me? Did I speak French all of a sudden? Yes, it was so weird to not see you in class! Here, give me your phone.”

Lan Zhan still stays in place, his arms along his body, and Wei Ying loses his patience.

He just fetches the phone in the pocket where he knows it is, and Lan Zhan doesn’t even protest.
Wei Ying is happy to see that there’s no need for a password to open it and so he can put his number without much difficulty.

He names his own contact “Wei Baby <333”, sends himself a text to save Lan Zhan’s number, and gives back his phone to Lan Zhan. There. Easy. Perfect.

“Done! HAHA!” He’s ecstatic for a reason he can’t pinpoint. He’s ready to go but Lan Zhan is still acting super weird. He’s looking at his phone with an odd expression and is caressing it with his thumb.

“Hey, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying calls, worry apparent in his voice and that makes Lan Zhan look up. “Are you okay? Do you still feel sick?”

Without thinking, Wei Ying places his hand on Lan Zhan’s forehead but, surprisingly, Lan Zhan doesn’t push him away. He must really be sick! But his forehead is not hot, so…

“You thought I was the rabbit.”

Wei Ying takes his hand back, rubbing absentmindedly his palm which has been touching Lan Zhan’s skin with his other hand.

“Lan Zhan, why are you still on that?” Wei Ying asks, annoyed. “Yeah, it kinda looks like you? You know? Cute.”

Wei Ying feels himself growing hotter. But! Again! That’s the truth! Just look at them!

Wei Ying turns his head to the rabbit who’s hoping without a care for the world and munching to some grass. Ah, what Wei Ying would want to be cursed right now to not have to deal with that embarrassing moment.

“And what you said…” Lan Zhan says in a whisper.

Wei Ying freezes. Oh. No. Oh. He turns abruptly to Lan Zhan again, his eyes widened.

“Oh, fuck. You heard that? I-… Just forget it, Lan Zhan, I didn’t mean it.”

Instantly, Lan Zhan’s face breaks. Like he’s in pain? What-… What did Wei Ying just say!?

“You…” Wei Ying never thought Lan Zhan could appear so sad. And that’s his own fault! What a terrible person. He must amend and, so, he waves his arms widely in panic.

“Nononononono! Ahhh, I’m such a dumbass.” Fortunately, Jiang Cheng is not here to hear that. So, he can continue with the embarrassment. Lan Zhan deserves it. If after that he needs to flee to another country for 13 years, so be it.

“I really want to be your friend. Yeah. Of course. Who wouldn’t want to? And… you’re so great, of course I would want to… to be more… But that’s okay, that’s okay, I…!”

“I would love that.” Lan Zhan interrupts him, ears red, face softer and… that makes Wei Ying’s heartbeat go faster. And what did he just say?

“Love what?” Wei Ying asks, his voice a little strangled.

Lan Zhan takes his hand and *oh*. Lan Zhan has taken his hand. Lan Zhan is squeezing his hand.

Maybe that rabbit shit-show wasn’t that bad, after all.

In the end, Lan Zhan adopts Bunji and they date. Everyone is happy.
Later, Wei Ying reveals Bunji stole his first kiss and Lan Zhan is so bitter toward Bunji. He decides to make things up with Wei Ying and kisses him into oblivion to make him forget everything.

And of course, the man from the beginning was Su She.