talking with emery really made me realise how the last ~two years destroyed my faith in the inherent goodness of people. i don't think i became as cynical as to think we're inherently evil, nor do i think that people who do believe we're inherently good are naive,

but in my view humans are incredibly easily swayed out of neutrality into cruelty and being a good person is something that takes work that a lot of us just aren't interested in doing

i remember not feeling like this, even when i understood that being good is something you constantly work on. i just ... maybe it's easier to think people aren't horribly corrupted into evil, that it's very easy to make them so. i think it makes it easier to accept

how many people around me hate me and wish to harm me. that it's just how humans are, always ready to hate others

sorry about this thread; i promise i don't think less of anyone who has more faith in people than i do and that i won't become and insufferable doomer. it's just really difficult to cope.