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tonight he told me about the two visits by "Sarah& #39;s" friend..... the first one didn& #39;t go over very well..... her friend has always disliked him..... on the first visit i guess the friend wanted Sarah to do some shady shit..... they went to the Grand Canyon on that visit
so example #1 he went on a trip he probably didn& #39;t want to go on, with a friend of hers he didn& #39;t want to be around, all so he could make Sarah happy...... he clarified not happy in the not wanting to hear her bitch way, but genuinely to bring her joy
on her friend& #39;s second visit he played nice and "made up" with Sarah& #39;s friend...... which brought tears of joy to Sarah& #39;s eyes...... he did that just for her joy...... he still didn& #39;t like Sarah& #39;s friend, and Sarah& #39;s friend still didn& #39;t like him..... their motivations different
in my opinion, and now his as he agrees with me..... in my opinion his motivation was genuinely to make Sarah happy..... Sarah& #39;s friend& #39;s motivation was to manipulate Sarah into believing everything was cool so she could inch her way back in like a maggot.....
like a maggot eating its way from the inside out...... which is exactly what she did. and on that visit they went to Devil& #39;s Bridge in Sedona.... another trip he didn& #39;t want to go on, with her friend he didn& #39;t trust or like, to do a hike he didn& #39;t want to do.....
all just to bring joy to Sarah..... he then rented an expensive private room at a karaoke bar so they could have a fun night out...... total cost was in the $500 to $600 range for just about 3 hours...... all so he could bring Sarah joy by also including Sarah& #39;s friend
the problem is he spent way too much time making sure she had joy in her life...... he spent very little time making sure he had joy in his...... he fucked up a lot too, don& #39;t get me wrong...... but he still gave 110% and more to make sure she was happy
in his words he strung her along for marriage..... not on purpose, but because he was trying to clean up the financial disaster left by hastily finalizing a divorce..... add that financial burden to their grocery and shopping......
in the midst of these talks of marriage she popped it on him that the ring would have to be a minimum of $10,000 (money they didn& #39;t have!) but $20,000 would be better..... then later tells him money was just an excuse he was giving her......
after the breakup she actually told him that she gave him 2 years to get his shit together...... meanwhile not making ANY effort to curb the spending and in fact adding more expense..... a car payment.....
i kinda gave him a dirty look and told him he should have told her about the finances...... he said he did and she insisted this wasn& #39;t about the money and she& #39;d settle for a justice of the peace wedding .............. this after haranguing him about $20k rings???????
i don& #39;t even know what to think..... it was partly her responsibility to help him get his shit together but she threw it all on him...... she played NO PART in contributing to his struggles to get his shit together...... i& #39;m sorry but that& #39;s just stupid
keep in mind this is a condition i gave him for staying on speaking terms...... he has to tell me everything because i don& #39;t think he& #39;s ever let any of this out...... he& #39;s never vented completely..... just short outbursts but never really talking it through
after hours, and hours of phone calls...... thousands of text messages...... at least 50 to 60 hours of in-person time i knew NONE of this until September 5th..... we met on Memorial Day 2020..... all he had for her was praise and took all the blame
he is not a weak person...... i& #39;ve seen him perform in front of 1,000 people on his piano...... i& #39;ve seen him give speeches in packed rooms of 1,000+...... i have been working from home with him at his place for 3 weeks..... he& #39;s confident and not at all shy in meetings. he leads
his problem..... and i don& #39;t think it& #39;s a bad thing except for how it affects him when people shit on him....... his problem is he is devoted, and committed...... his loyalty is unwavering...... he gives people the benefit of the doubt, especially people he knows well
and he knew her better than anyone...... he placed so much trust in her...... and now he& #39;s having to deal with acknowledging that trust was grossly misplaced...... when i gave him the ultimatum i thought he was going to tell me to fuck right off
he still doesn& #39;t like to speak ill of her, and he tries to express everything he& #39;s told me in the best possible terms...... so what i& #39;m typing now in this thread is my interpretation of what he& #39;s said...... i think he& #39;s past lying to himself......
but out of respect for her he wants to put it in the gentlest terms possible...... i find that admirable no matter how much it pisses me off...... i won& #39;t force him to speak ill of her...... i& #39;m fine with him sugar coating it because i know deep down he knows the truth
he just can& #39;t say it to me...... i spoke to his mother about Sarah..... she has a glowing opinion of Sarah and hopes that Sarah comes around..... she told me she was truly looking forward to going to the airport to meet Sarah upon her return
yeah..... he& #39;d planned a big surprise for her when she returned...... his family was all going to be there to greet her, and that was when they were going to reveal the Hawaii trip to her....... his mom was going to present the two tickets to Sarah and welcome her to the family
