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"I ignore the behavior, not the child, because the child is attention-seeking" means "If I think the child is desperately seeking human connection, I refuse to cooperate."
Here is an uncaptioned video of Kip Williams in which he defines ostracism as "being ignored and excluded." Planned ignoring clearly falls into that. He further talks about the human response to ostracism, which is pain. https://vimeo.com/62789770/description
"Being excluded is painful b/c it threatens fundamental human needs, such as belonging & self-esteem," Williams said. "...[R]esearch has found that strong, harmful reactions are possible even when ostracized by a stranger or for a short amount of time."
https://www.purdue.edu/newsroom/research/2011/110510WilliamsOstracism.html
https://www.purdue.edu/newsroom/research/2011/110510WilliamsOstracism.html
Have you ever seen a sign like this?
If being ignored, even briefly or by a stranger, is harmful, what do you think it is like when the adults a child is supposed to trust to nurture them ignore them enough, and insist others participate enough, to need a sign?
If being ignored, even briefly or by a stranger, is harmful, what do you think it is like when the adults a child is supposed to trust to nurture them ignore them enough, and insist others participate enough, to need a sign?
"Ostracism, says Williams, is experienced in three stages. In the first, “immediate,” stage, the rejected person—that means everybody—feels pain. Williams’ research has found that “it doesn’t matter who you’re being rejected by” or how slight the slight appears [...]. (cont.)
"An alarm has gone off in the brain -- the same part that registers phyaical pain: Belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful recognition are under attack. (cont.)
"Next comes the "coping" stage, when ppl figure out how to "improve their exclusionary status." They pay attention to every social cue; they cooperate, conform, & obey. (cont.)
"If belonging is a lost cause, they look to regain control. In extreme cases, "they may try to force people to pay attention." [...] (cont.)
"But "coping requires emotional resources," says Williams. Endure ostracism too long and "they're depleted. You don't have it in you to cope, so you give up. You become depressed, helpless, and despairing." (cont.)
"Even memories of long-ago rejection can bring up those feelings. This, psychologists have learned from interviews, is the third stage, "resignation." http://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/ostracism-hurtsbut-how-shedding-light-on-a-silent-invisible-abuse.html
Okay, so let's look at this from a different direction. "Extinction" is a behavioral procedure.
The idea behind behaviorism is that we don't do things for the reasons we think we do: we do what we are conditioned to do, based on what reliably causes pleasure or pain.
The idea behind behaviorism is that we don't do things for the reasons we think we do: we do what we are conditioned to do, based on what reliably causes pleasure or pain.
There are allegedly reasons to do stuff:
1. It feels good (sensory)
2. We want things (tangibles)
3. We want interaction with people (attention)
4. We want to avoid something (escape)
Note that human connection/comunication falls under "attention."
https://cornerstoneautismcenter.com/aba-therapy/aba-101-the-functions-of-behavior/#:~:text=The%20four%20functions%20of%20behavior,and%20example%20for%20each%20function.
1. It feels good (sensory)
2. We want things (tangibles)
3. We want interaction with people (attention)
4. We want to avoid something (escape)
Note that human connection/comunication falls under "attention."
https://cornerstoneautismcenter.com/aba-therapy/aba-101-the-functions-of-behavior/#:~:text=The%20four%20functions%20of%20behavior,and%20example%20for%20each%20function.
Extinction means identifying something a behavior is designed to achieve, and stopping it from working.
So if I don't want you climbing on the kitchen counter to get the cookies on top of the fridge, I can stop putting cookies up there, and eventually you'll stop climbing.
So if I don't want you climbing on the kitchen counter to get the cookies on top of the fridge, I can stop putting cookies up there, and eventually you'll stop climbing.
"Simply put, when a behavior is reinforced [rewarded] it continues, so remove the reinforcer and the behavior stops."
Planned ignoring is extinction when "attention" has been determined to be the motivating drive. https://abasolutionsinc.com/a-crash-course-on-extinction
Planned ignoring is extinction when "attention" has been determined to be the motivating drive. https://abasolutionsinc.com/a-crash-course-on-extinction
Note that ignoring-based extinction is not recommended for dangerous behavior, because someone might get hurt. It's for annoying behavior.
From the same source:
"[A] child may scream or interrupt every time a parent talks on the telephone, entertains company, or engages wirh siblings. When the parent stops paying attention to others, the child settles down [...]. (cont.)
"[A] child may scream or interrupt every time a parent talks on the telephone, entertains company, or engages wirh siblings. When the parent stops paying attention to others, the child settles down [...]. (cont.)
"[T]he tantrum is being maintained and reinforced, because the child is receiving the social attention [they crave] as a result of [doing it ....] By removing [...] the parent's attention, and ignoring the inappropriate behavior [...] the parent can gradually reduce the tantrum."
One of the results of "extinction" is "extinction burst" -- it gets worse before it gets better. Another, if you do not explicitly train a way to get the "reinforcer," that you like better, is that the person whose behavior you are trying to extinguish will try other approaches.
I have known people with extinction plans for swearing that were in one sense successful: they switched hitting. Win/win? They stopped swearing.
Keep in mind: if you have to explicitly teach another way, that means the person didn't know it. They were doing their best.
Keep in mind: if you have to explicitly teach another way, that means the person didn't know it. They were doing their best.
Attention is a fundamental human need. It is required in order to achieve and experience connection, another fundamental human need. http://www.liherald.com/stories/the-power-of-human-connection,102632
So let's look at the extinction story again.
The parent is paying attention to someone else, and the child wants their attention. Note that it does not matter why the child wants attention.
The parent is paying attention to someone else, and the child wants their attention. Note that it does not matter why the child wants attention.
I was 10 when I was sent home fron school because of an expected terrorist attack on the building where I lived, and where the school and my dad's office were. When I got home Dad was not there. My mom deftly ignored my efforts to find out if he was safe, and to seek reassurance.
Eventually she redirected me into a room where my younger siblings were playing with instructions to keep them from getting shot. It was okay if I got shot.
The attack never took place. The experience was nonetheless distressing.
The attack never took place. The experience was nonetheless distressing.
The *only* relevant fact, to the behaviorists, is that the person appears to want attention.
It's also not relevant that -- as is conceded up front -- the child doesn't have a way of getting the attention that the parent likes better.
It's also not relevant that -- as is conceded up front -- the child doesn't have a way of getting the attention that the parent likes better.
In other words, being screamed at sucks.
And sometimes it is the best someone who is struggling can do.
And it also sucks to really need something (human attention is a need) and not have any better approaches to getting it than screaming.
And sometimes it is the best someone who is struggling can do.
And it also sucks to really need something (human attention is a need) and not have any better approaches to getting it than screaming.
So the child is doing their best, and the parent's response is to ignore it -- every single time, because if it works sometimes but not other times, the child will keep trying.
This is ostracism.
What does Kip Williams say the cycle of ostracism is?
This is ostracism.
What does Kip Williams say the cycle of ostracism is?
Stage 1: pain is inflicted. We know this, because it is true of everybody. Which is why, although behaviorists classify planned ignoring as withholding a reward rather than inflicting punishment, it is processed as punishment. It's also a loss of control.
Stage 2: coping. The child tries harder to connect. That's the "extinction burst." Call for help. If no-one comes, you call louder and longer. They may try other ways of getting their needs met that the parent likes less. And they may learn & try the alternative being taught.
So eventually you have either "escalation" or "learning," depending on whether the child does what the behaviorist wants.
An "escalation" on the child's part is usually met with escalating technologies of control by the behaviorist.
"Learning" is compliance.
An "escalation" on the child's part is usually met with escalating technologies of control by the behaviorist.
"Learning" is compliance.
Even "learning," though, or in other words success, is achieved by responding to the child's efforts to get their basic needs met by the reliable, deliberate, infliction of pain by those adults the child is supposed to expect nurture from.
Finally,
Finally,
Stage 3. Depletion of psychological resources for coping. The child stops coping. They give up. They develop depression. They see themselves as helpless. They experience despair.
We know this happens. We also know that people with I/DD who have given up are seen as "improved."
We know this happens. We also know that people with I/DD who have given up are seen as "improved."
When I was being taught behavioral methods, they were often a lot more overtly painful. Ammonia squirts in the face, Tabasco on the tongue. In some places it was worse.
Linda Cornelison was a non-speaking 19-year-old with an intellectual disability at the Judge Rotenberg Center.
Linda Cornelison was a non-speaking 19-year-old with an intellectual disability at the Judge Rotenberg Center.
She suffered a gastric perforation. A staff member who was there told me later that her "moaning" was different; something was clearly wrong. But moaning was, according to her behavior plan, to be responded to with punitive electric shock. Linda was shocked 56 times.
She died from the untreated perforation. And she would have died if the plan had merely called for her efforts to tell people she was dangerously ill to be ignored, just as teens have died in "troubled teen" programs when their reports of serious illness are ignored.
And although ignoring seems far more mild than ammonia and Tabasco, and although everyone gets mildly ignored in the course of daily life, a structured campaign of planned ignoring, especially when universally implemented (remember the sign?) is really painful.
Two more terms for using human connection (and the ability to interfere with it) as a weapon are "relational aggression" and "social bullying."
"Relational aggression includes ignoring peers, telling peers they can't play or be part of the group, and setting limits on friendship (e.g., "I won't be your friend unless you let me be the train conductor")."
https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/nov2015/preventing-relational-aggression
https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/nov2015/preventing-relational-aggression
The colloquial term for this is "mean girls" and a lot of the time when we focus on it, we are talking about middle school girls. But preschoolers do it, adults do it, and boys/nonbinary people do it.
Behavioral techniques like planned ignoring are structured, skilled, bullying.
Behavioral techniques like planned ignoring are structured, skilled, bullying.
And we need to think about why there are so many universities offering master's degrees in bullying.
