i know i'm preaching to the choir here but i cannot imagine a more worthless activity than throwing a party to announce to your terminally bored friends and family that you decided what gender you're going to coercively assign your child before they're even born

imagine trying to come out as trans to your parents knowing they threw a "gender reveal party" with fireworks and a cake with pink filling. what that act says about how they feel about your gender, that it's like some cute commodity that they feel a sense of ownership over

even cis people who make a lot of noise about being allies and how if their baby turns out trans they'll be supportive still participate in the literal inciting act that defines "trans person" as a separate and lesser category

it's like jabbing your child with an old shard of broken glass you found in a dirty gutter and saying "if they get sick i'll be so supportive." folks!!! my guy!!!! you can't brag about solving a problem you created!!!!!

you can't raise your kid with a "plan B" for if they Might be trans. you have to understand that the life of a trans person is defined by the perception that they are an exception to a rule. you have to raise them as if that rule never existed, to the maximum extent possible

i know that makes some people uncomfortable. i feel like this was a nuclear hot take until pretty recently, even among some trans folks. even people who understand the harm that comes from assigning gender sometimes still, on a gut level, view it as rooted in measurable reality

it's not! it's just stuff we made up. clothes don't care who wears them. toys don't care who plays with them. names don't care who uses them. hormone pills don't care who takes them. underneath this all there are just humans with bodies. let them find their own terms to live on