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I rarely talk about my Christian past cause the anxiety/existential crisis ex-evangelicals go through daily is a lot sometimes. It can be lonely. To be able to escape the toxic spiritual manipulation is great. But that’s how we dealt with fear. There used to be no room for worry.
To escape a “cult” like setting is a blessing. But replacing the community and easy answers you had with the church is not easy. Figuring out healthier spiritual and emotional outlets is not easy. You were taught to have no other coping mechanisms. And now you have to replace it.
Anytime I had doubt I was taught to “trust in God”. You weren’t allowed to fear. It was unhealthy, but it worked. So many ex-christians stay angry because of all the church trauma but also because of the inability to replace the void with something healthy and sustainable.
Tbh I’m not sure how I identify anymore. I’m not an atheist. I wouldn’t consider myself an agnostic. I believe in a creator. But I’m still on a journey and I’m ok with that. There are days where I miss the simplicity. And there are days where I’m like fuck that lol.
Anyway, that was me being vulnerable. So here are some pieces I’ve written about the church and justice! https://sojo.net/articles/when-christianity-co-opts-justice-movements
This is a series I wrote about the korean immigrant church! https://www.inheritancemag.com/stories/bruised-but-not-broken
Wrote this with @josephyoo btw. One of the few pastors in this world I trust.
