As you all know I've been on an encouraging self-love kick lately, and I'm noticing that there's not much of a reaction to it compared to other things.

And I can't help but wonder how many of us feel like mainlining low self esteem is like, part of the cost of transition?

And if that's the case then I'm sad to say wow I'm part of a bigger club than I thought.

People who are not supportive of my transition tell me all the time that "if you just accept and love yourself then the world will too" as if this is some super wise shit that applies.

And it's true for most people on some level, despite being about the single most difficult thing I'm aware of: show me a person who can truly love themselves without arrogance despite what society thinks and I'll show you a legitimately enlightened person.

But for minorities who must display undesirable differences for all to see, all the time, this is a very different game.

The knowing that today might be the day we run across the wrong person is always with us. We don't always have the luxury of feeling safe.

And when you turn around to see someone staring at you with repulsion in their face, it's just really difficult to avoid internalizing it. Once is tough.

When it happens several times a day, as it does for some of us, how could it not fuck with our heads?

I think this is what we have to get past; this is why we spend so much time building each other up and reminding each other that we're beautiful and worthwhile; this is why so many of us see the world as an eneny; because this is how we survive.

Maybe I'm wrong about all this.

But it's just a pattern I see. And it makes me sad, because it's such a huge lie. Some of the most interesting, witty, fun, creative, kind, wise, and beautiful people I've ever known also happen to be trans.

And if transphones could step outside of their prejudices and really see us as what we are instead of what they think we should be, they'd be blinded by the light they're missing.

I'm sick of living in a world that hates people for who they love,

That judges them for their acceptance,

That shames them for their courage,

That tortures them for taking pleasure in who they are,

That praises those who put others down.

But we are winning.

Society is changing. We're becoming more and more normal by the day.

That's why transphobes are fighting this so hard- their tidy hierarchy is unraveling beneath them.

And it's good news. It's a reason to look at ourselves and feel justified pride.

I love us, y'all.

We're the ones who can go places no one else can. We're the ones who can *do something* about the things that hurt us.

We're the ones with the courage to take reality by the balls and say *NO!*

No wonder we scare them so much!

And every one of our brothers and sisters that we lose on the way only bolsters our fire. We *won't* lose this. For them. For everything we've lost.

I refuse to be someone who contributes to the loss of beauty from this world. I will find beauty, lift it up.

I REFUSE to accept that that we are lesser than anyone else.

I REFUSE to believe that below average self esteem is acceptable. It absolutely is not.

I REFUSE to allow society to tell me who I am and what my value is: I'm the one with the value- I tell *them*.

Every day, we have a chance to start changing the narratives in our own minds. We can listen to people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about tell us all about who we are and what we're like, or we can reject their ignorance and base our self esteem on what we see.

And what I see is brilliant. What I see is worthwhile. What I see is millions of people with a power of life that could remake the entire world.

So of course they try to keep us down.

I let them win for too long. I REFUSE to let them win, at least with me, even one day more.

Anyway, rant over.