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The oh so wise quote from @RuPaul
But what does it mean? Self love is hard to understand when you don't have it. So in this thread I am going to offer you a self love guide to help you learn how to practice self love more and hopefully enetually truly fall in love with yourself.
But what does it mean? Self love is hard to understand when you don't have it. So in this thread I am going to offer you a self love guide to help you learn how to practice self love more and hopefully enetually truly fall in love with yourself.
1. Negative thoughts 
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself in your head. Do you hear yourself saying things like:
-I'm so stupid
-I'm going to fuck this up
-people are going to laugh at me
-Oh look, I failed again
Etc.
Start to really pay attention to your inner dialogue
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself in your head. Do you hear yourself saying things like:
-I'm so stupid
-I'm going to fuck this up
-people are going to laugh at me
-Oh look, I failed again
Etc.
Start to really pay attention to your inner dialogue
and alter it. Make it positive. Be kind to yourself.
For example replace 'I acted stupidly' with 'I did the best I could with the tools I had'. Replace 'I always fail' with 'things have been difficult but if I keep trying I can only get better.'
For example replace 'I acted stupidly' with 'I did the best I could with the tools I had'. Replace 'I always fail' with 'things have been difficult but if I keep trying I can only get better.'
2. Body image
Do you hate your body or certain parts of your anatomy? Your body IS YOU. By hating your body you are literally HATING yourself! Start to nurture it. Talk to it like it's a person. Tell it how much you love it and want the best for it. Stroke the parts you have
Do you hate your body or certain parts of your anatomy? Your body IS YOU. By hating your body you are literally HATING yourself! Start to nurture it. Talk to it like it's a person. Tell it how much you love it and want the best for it. Stroke the parts you have
hated. Moisturise them and show them care. The more you hate them, the uglier they will become. They also risk developing psychosomatic ailments. Love them and they will change too and become more beautiful, growing like a well nurtured flower.
3. What you deserve
Learn to se yourself as deserving of good things. This one is super hard, especially if you were brought up be parents who didn't nurture you. But YOU ARE DESERVING! Let yourself feel gratitude when people do nice things for you. Take a moment to
Learn to se yourself as deserving of good things. This one is super hard, especially if you were brought up be parents who didn't nurture you. But YOU ARE DESERVING! Let yourself feel gratitude when people do nice things for you. Take a moment to
tell yourself someone did a nice thing for you BECAUSE you are deserving. Learn to accept gifts and kind gestures without feeling endebted. Kindness should not be transactional. On the flip side, never ever put up with someone disregarding you, your rights, your wellbeing
Or anything else. If you let someone walk all over you, don't beat yourself up about it, just look back and pay attention to how you let that happen. How you got to a place in your relationship with them where they felt they could do that and you felt they could. Look back
As far as you can in that relationship and spot the early signs. Take head from them and promise to yourself to keep an eye out for similar signs in future interactions with people and to stand up for yourself when you see them, or to walk away and choose not to engage.
4. Toxic people
You know those friends or your partner who are really unhappy, always surrounded by drama, who make your life difficult? Cut ties with them. You empathise with them INSTEAD of empathising with yourself! They don't need your help, they need to sort out their own
You know those friends or your partner who are really unhappy, always surrounded by drama, who make your life difficult? Cut ties with them. You empathise with them INSTEAD of empathising with yourself! They don't need your help, they need to sort out their own
shit. Also their damaged cycles draw you into causing yourself more emotional and psychological damage. Surround yourself with people who practice self love and are on a pth of healing. Their ways will rub off on you.
5. Don't chase
One of the key tenets of self love is knowing that you are worthy and that people who are worthy of you will see you are worthy without you having to force it down their throats. Just be you. Don't crush yourself for people to make them like you. It's OK if some
One of the key tenets of self love is knowing that you are worthy and that people who are worthy of you will see you are worthy without you having to force it down their throats. Just be you. Don't crush yourself for people to make them like you. It's OK if some
People don't like you. Just means they aren't right for you. Never ever ever chase for the affection of another person. If they are not giving it willingly, fuck them. YOU DESERVE people in your life who see the treasure that you are.
6. Pampering yourself
I'm not talking about spa days, I'm talking about the small things. Show your body love every day. Brush your hair and while you do it appreciate how nice your hair is. Moisturise your body. Whe you are doing it, talk to it kindly. Tell it how much you
I'm not talking about spa days, I'm talking about the small things. Show your body love every day. Brush your hair and while you do it appreciate how nice your hair is. Moisturise your body. Whe you are doing it, talk to it kindly. Tell it how much you
appreciate all it does for you. Buy yourself beautiful house clothes so that even when you are having a sofa day you feel glamorous as fuck. Give yourself that nice thing that you covet but don't think you deserve. Because YES YOU DO.
7. Your home is an extension of yourself
Just like pampering if you live in a shit hole, that is basically you telling yourself you don't deserve nice things. Nest. Make your home beautiful. Enjoy the process of decorating and making it pretty. It's an act of kindness to yourself
Just like pampering if you live in a shit hole, that is basically you telling yourself you don't deserve nice things. Nest. Make your home beautiful. Enjoy the process of decorating and making it pretty. It's an act of kindness to yourself
8. Saying no
It's OK to say no to people. I know you really want to help all the time, partly because you don't want to let people down and partly because you want people to like you. But FYI: people will like you even if you say no to things. Don't over extend yourself then find
It's OK to say no to people. I know you really want to help all the time, partly because you don't want to let people down and partly because you want people to like you. But FYI: people will like you even if you say no to things. Don't over extend yourself then find
yourself overloaded and having to bail out of things you promised or having anxiety attacks because you have too much on your plate. You can say "I'd really love to but I just have too much on right now" or even "I appreciate you asking me but I don't think I'm the right person".
9. Putting yourself first
One of the things about lack of self love is that as we think we are undeserving, we see other people's needs as more important than ours so we end up crushing ourself and always putting other people first. Pay attention to your dynamics with
One of the things about lack of self love is that as we think we are undeserving, we see other people's needs as more important than ours so we end up crushing ourself and always putting other people first. Pay attention to your dynamics with
other people. Are you constantly over extending yourself to help your friends? Are you tired because you are always focusing on other people's problems? For sure friends need our help sometimes. But if someone constantly needs your help and you are constantly giving it to them
Then that is a surefire sign that you are neglecting your own needs and they are also neglecting you. You should also be allowed to ask for help. And your needs should always come before those of others.
10. Teaching people how to treat you
We don't realise it, but right from the first second we meet someone we are giving out all sorts of subtle cues telling them how they should treat us. If you feel like you are constantly disrespected by people, it's probably because you are
We don't realise it, but right from the first second we meet someone we are giving out all sorts of subtle cues telling them how they should treat us. If you feel like you are constantly disrespected by people, it's probably because you are
Telling them you don't deserve their respect. For example I met a woman recently who kept on telling me how stupid she was and adding "you'll think I'm stupid' in sentences. She's basically telling people to see her as an idiot! Big yourself up. Show pride. Demand your space.
I should
I should do the laundry. I really should sort through that pile of crap in my closet. I should stop smoking. I should take care of myself.
Saying 'I should' to yourself turns these things into a task. You're saying you are being forced into doing it. Pay attention to
I should do the laundry. I really should sort through that pile of crap in my closet. I should stop smoking. I should take care of myself.
Saying 'I should' to yourself turns these things into a task. You're saying you are being forced into doing it. Pay attention to
your inner dialogue and every time you catch yourself thinking 'I should', stop yourself and say out loud and with emphasis: "No, I WANT TO X BECAUSE X"
Example: I should clean the kitchen
It's such a shithole" becomes "I want to clean the kitchen because it will be so nice to
Example: I should clean the kitchen
It's such a shithole" becomes "I want to clean the kitchen because it will be so nice to
cook myself a delicious meal in"
And
"I should stop smoking" becomes "I want to stop smoking because I want to be healthy"
And
"I should stop smoking" becomes "I want to stop smoking because I want to be healthy"
Good enough
Stop setting yourself unrealistic expectations that you inevitably fall short of. Also stop setting unrealistic expectations on other people that they fall short of. Be kind to yourself and others and make "good enough" your new benchmark for everything.
Stop setting yourself unrealistic expectations that you inevitably fall short of. Also stop setting unrealistic expectations on other people that they fall short of. Be kind to yourself and others and make "good enough" your new benchmark for everything.
Be a good enough person. Good enough at your job. Good enough at cooking. Allow your boyfriend to be good enough. Appreciate your good enough sister. Good enough is all you need and need to be. Anything on top of that is a cherry on the cake.
Plenty more fish
One thing I have learned is that there are so many people in the world that if someone falls short you will ALWAYS find someone better. Friends, relationships, therapists, doctors, hairdressers.... Don't stay loyal because you're scared you can't so better
One thing I have learned is that there are so many people in the world that if someone falls short you will ALWAYS find someone better. Friends, relationships, therapists, doctors, hairdressers.... Don't stay loyal because you're scared you can't so better
That is utter bullshit. In fact staying loyal to the shit bags is what prevents you from inviting better into your life. Walk away. Discard the shit. You don't need it and spending a bit of time alone will do. You no harm as it is a perfect time to start practicing true
Self love without the distraction of someone else to lavish all your attention on
And there we are. I hope this list is helpful. These are all lessons I have learned along my own journey from absolute self hatred to self love.
I am sending you much love and cannot tell you enough that...
You Do deserve love, kindness and respect!!! But all these things start
I am sending you much love and cannot tell you enough that...
You Do deserve love, kindness and respect!!! But all these things start
At home... You need to practice that shit on yourself because nobody respects someone who doesn't respect themselves and nobody will give love to someone who is silently screaming to the world that they are undeserving of love.
Hence...
Hence...
