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OH BOY it's 3am, time for Sad Randy Hours
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You have to wonder the weight in his chest knowing that he was born to become a trained killer. by the time he was twelve, he knew how to use a gun, a knife, seen active combat and killed someone? The worst part is that he never thought it strange because it was 'normal' for him.
Being a Jaeger, heir to a bloodied throne, he was spared no such mercy or gentle touch - he didn't even know his mother by the looks of it and worst of all - he was /good/ at at it. Good at espionage, good at war. Good at killing.
And he was numb to it all, darken by it.
And he was numb to it all, darken by it.
It wasn't until he was pushed to the brink of his abilities in an operation where he led the disadvantage, where he learned from the nearby village that thought of having a 'dream'. A young man offering Erebonia Rum, talking about becoming a merchant one day and Randy stared.
Because he never thought of having a dream of his own, of doing anything other than the life he's always led. For a moment he wondered if he could dream something like that too and no doubt that young man laughed, patted his back and said - "Anyone can dream! Including you."
It didn't immediately absolve Randy of his many sins but it was on his mind as he led the assault that ultimately took that man's life and finally became the catalyst that broke the grief festering inside Randy.
He was lost in that haze and desperate to escape to anything more.
He was lost in that haze and desperate to escape to anything more.
Finding Crossbell was an accident, joining the Guardian Force was a distraction, burying his past an active choice - he knew the Red Constellation would catch up to him one day but as long as he didn't get attached, he could keep running.
Except of course, he got attached.
Except of course, he got attached.
He's never really known home, having moved place to place and always fighting someone else's war. It was between heaven and hell - the smell of gunfire and blood, the cesspool of greed, sickening freedom. But with Crossbell it felt good. People cared about him, he cared for them.
All Randy wanted to was to find somewhere he could belong - for that child inside him, covered in someone else's blood, to find comfort even when he didn't think he deserve it. The SSS wasn't his absolution but they became a dream he didn't think he had any right too.
Did he deserve such a dream, a future with them? Randy knew he didn't but it wasn't up for him to decide anymore - they reached out to him and they all choose to help carry his burdens.
Lloyd laughs gently. "You're with us now. We forgive you. And we're not leaving you behind."
Lloyd laughs gently. "You're with us now. We forgive you. And we're not leaving you behind."
His sins haven't disappeared, neither has his guilt or his grief. But somehow it's still easier to breathe reaching up and taking Lloyd's hand, mesmerized with how easy it all was.
If anyone was capable of having a dream, Randy hopes this is one he can keep.
If anyone was capable of having a dream, Randy hopes this is one he can keep.
oh boy sad Randy hours!!!
